


In The Lap Of God

by katzengefluster



Series: Sharp Teeth and Ill Intentions [3]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: D/s relationship, Domination, M/M, Spanking, dom hanbin, please read the author note at the beginning it's very important, sub jinan, the others are in it but just barely, this will sometimes be angsty sometimes fluffy sometimes hot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:29:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzengefluster/pseuds/katzengefluster
Summary: "You don't choose your kinks, Hanbin, sometimes they just develop naturally."





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Important Author Note: the first two chapters have very mild violence (specifically: a slap and a very hard pinch intended to hurt) but neither are done abusively, and after that second chapter nothing like that will come up again. But I wanted to mention it up front as I know that sort of thing really bothers some people. 
> 
> This story is about two people trying to figure out exactly what they want and need from each other, and it's also about the doubts and concerns of entering a relationship based on domination and how that might change a person. Sometimes it's angsty, sometimes it's fluffy, and sometimes it's super hot. ♥
> 
> It takes place pre-debut, right after that controversial V-Live. The title is taken from Jinhwan's tattoo.

“I'm not here to berate you for poor choices, Hanbin-ah,” Yang says softly, “what's done is done and videos stick around forever. You knew that already and now you've learned the importance of it again. Try not to learn it a third time.” Though the CEO's voice is calm, there's still a fire in his eyes that has Hanbin on the edge of his seat, nerves burning a hole in his stomach. He nods, eyes downcast, knowing well how to conduct himself in these meetings. He's curious, though, if he's not here for a lecture, then why has Yang called him in?

“Unfortunately this is not the first time your personality has come off harshly on camera, and after last year's near disaster with your father, the public is not so quick to forget past grievances in the face of fresh ones. We both know you can have a bit of a temper at times with your members, and given how stressful things are for you right now regarding debut I think it would be a good idea if we worked together to find some kind of outlet for your aggression so you don't take it out on the others.”

It's not what Hanbin expected to hear. He meets Yang's eyes, curiosity in his gaze. “What kind of outlet?”

Yang's expression softens because he knows that Hanbin takes criticism better than anyone, and all he ever needs is one quick moment of using his 'disappointed father voice' before his youngest leader is ready to work on fixing whatever the problem is. “We could have Hwangssabu create a tailored program for you, up your physical training. It might help more to tire yourself out physically instead of just mentally.” Hanbin nods, because he's been thinking about doing that anyway. He's been so busy with composing and recording lately that he's been neglecting his workouts, and the majority of the muscle mass he'd put on last year going to the gym with Bobby has disappeared.

“I'll do that.”

“I was also wondering if maybe you'd benefit from some other form of training? Do you have any interest in martial arts?” Yang asks, and Hanbin is surprised at the option. It's a good idea for him, something structured. Unfortunately he's never been interested.

“Not really, to be honest. I used to train in boxing, though, I wouldn't mind taking that up again.”

Yang nods, looks like he's contemplating the idea. “Boxing, huh? If it helps, I give you permission to picture my face on the punching bag.”

There's a smile in Yang's eye that catches Hanbin by surprise, and he laughs. “Uh, thank you for your generosity, sir, but I don't think that will be necessary.”

Yang gives him a knowing grin. “You say that now, just wait until our preliminary album meeting and you may change your tune.” Hanbin's eyes go wide at the comment (he'd said it like a joke, but Hanbin is 99% certain that he actually means it). “I'll have you booked with an instructor at a gym, unless you have one you'd prefer?”

Hanbin shakes his head. He doesn't know if his old boxing instructor is still at the gym he used to frequent with his dad years ago. He's excited to take up the sport again, though, eager to train at something that doesn't really impact his job at all. It'll be good as a mental reset, he thinks. He'd given boxing up when he joined YG, dedicating himself to music instead. Now that music comes to him like breathing, he thinks it will be beneficial to have something else.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You're welcome. I just want you to stay focused and calm over the next year; I know it's going to be rough to debut amidst controversy. Don't concern yourself with that, though, keep your focus on training and your members, let me deal with anything else. There's a reason why you were chosen to be leader, and no amount of complaints will change my opinion. This will blow over eventually. Just continue to work hard; that's all I ask.”

Hanbin senses that he's being dismissed and stands up, bows to Yang. He's moved by the comments, surprised at how much Yang is willing to go to bat for him. The CEO is tough, demanding, and a little terrifying at times, but at the end of the day he does care about the artists beneath him, and Hanbin is grateful for that. He heads for the door and stops on his way out, turns around to bow again.

“Thank you again for your support, sir.” Hanbin says, and when he straightens up he sees that Yang quickly replaces the soft smile he'd been sporting with a neutral expression.

“That's what I'm here for, Hanbin-ah. I have faith that you'll do well by your team.” Yang holds his gaze for a moment and Hanbin isn't sure if he should leave. Yang's lips curve into a tiny smile before he speaks again. “Don't fuck up again. You won't like me if you do.”

Hanbin blushes and bows again, promises that he won't disappoint before hurrying out of the office. He takes the stairs down instead of waiting for the elevator, too keyed up to stand around. How he managed to get out of that without being yelled at, he's not quite sure. Perks of being a hard worker, he supposes. While he works hard to please himself, he also does it for this very reason, to soften the blow if anything bad ever happens. He likes to be prepared.

* * *

“Come on, one more set! You've gotten weak, Hanbin! Why do I remember your arms being bigger last summer, huh?” Bobby goads him, grinning as he watches Hanbin struggle with the bar.

“I was stronger last year,” Hanbin grinds out through clenched teeth, “because I spent the summer dragging your sorry ass through Mix & Match!”

“Ooh, strong words from a weakling!” Bobby carries on, laughs when Hanbin glares up at him. “You know I let you win every competition, right? I thought about upping my team performances and thoroughly kicking your ass, but I knew your fragile ego could only withstand so much abuse and you were already destroying it yourself on Show Me The Money.”

“Bullshit,” Hanbin states, biceps burning as he lifts the bar for one more repetition, “don't forget that I fucked up my lines and still kicked your ass during the first round.”

“Sympathy votes, for both you and Jidam,” Bobby teases, “I always thought Tablo hyung should have dropped your ass and kept Snacky Chan.”

Hanbin grins and replaces the bar, sinking back in relief against the bench. “Don't hate me 'cause I'm a hip hop tease girl!” Hanbin replies and it makes Bobby double over in laughter. Hanbin sits up then, hands rubbing at his shoulders. “I'm done for the day, gotta go meet my boxing instructor.”

Bobby wipes his eyes and looks down at Hanbin with an affectionate smile. “You starting that today? I still can't believe you got out of that meeting without getting yelled at.”

Hanbin grins back. “Well, I never really do get yelled at.”

“Wish I could say the same,” Bobby says wistfully, “perks of being the favourite.”

“Don't hate me 'cause I'm the golden child!” Hanbin replies and it sets them both off laughing again.

* * *

Hanbin's in a foul mood after getting back to the dorm. Yang hadn't been kidding about the album meeting—it had gone terribly. He's willing to shoulder most of the responsibility for the criticism, because he is the leader (and composer, lyricist, and producer, so of course rejection stings that much more), but he knows _for a fact_ that one of the tracks they presented to Yang wasn't the proper finished file (because it had old lyrics that he'd changed) but he wasn't about to start pointing fingers at the producers. They're all a team and Hanbin is still, _technically_ a trainee, because they haven't debuted yet. He's willing to push but he's not out to make anyone look stupid.

Instead he just feels stupid himself, shouldering the burden of pent-up irritation and frustration. It was so bad that not even Teddy's affectionate hair ruffling and reminder of what had been complimented was enough to soothe his bad mood. Maybe it's partially his own fault for going in and expecting positive results. He doesn't believe in preparing for the worst because if you're setting yourself up for disappointment, then what's the point? You can't believe in your work being the best but also expecting it to fail. That's a conflict he's not willing to undertake.

He really doesn't want to go back to the others, hoping he's missed dinner at least. The last thing he wants to do is sit around and put on a happy face for everyone else's sake. Sometimes he just needs to stew in his own anger for a bit. He thinks that right now would be the _perfect_ opportunity for boxing, but the gym's closed, so it's not an option. He doesn't feel like lifting weights or running or _anything_.

He just wants to hit something.

Thankfully it's quiet when he enters, and the lingering smell of spices in the entryway tells him that he's just missed dinner. Which is also good because he doesn't feel like eating, so it'll be easy to allay the others' concerns over his diet by saying that he ate at the cafeteria. He slips his shoes off but keeps his hat on, quietly walks into the living room where most of them are assembled, watching a program.

 _Great_ . It's the newest episode of 'Kill Me, Heal Me', which they've been watching together (all of them except Bobby, who doesn't really do TV) and had been recorded from the night before. Hanbin can't help but feel extra annoyed at the fact that they're watching it _without him_ . He's only just spent the past hour and a half getting his pride beaten to a pulp _for them_ , and they can't even wait a fucking half hour to watch the damn show with him?

Jinhwan notices him first and Hanbin feels a little better at Jinhwan's guilty expression. He's still pissed off, though, and he continues on through the living room, heading for the balcony, not even bothering to greet them.

Jinhwan calls to him. “Hanbin! We're only fifteen minutes in, we can re-start it?”

Hanbin is sliding open the balcony door and doesn't look back. “Don't bother, I'll watch it later.” He slides the door closed behind him and stands on the rough concrete of the balcony. He should have kept his shoes on, and he's too stubborn to go back in and get slippers. He'll just suffer against the hard floor.

A minute later he hears the door open and he leans forward, doesn't even want to know who it is that's come to check on him. He assumes it's Bobby, since the others are all fucking _occupied_.

“Are you okay?” It's Jinhwan, and Hanbin tenses when he feels Jinhwan's hand on his arm.

“Fine.” Hanbin replies curtly, his tone making it obvious that he is very much _not okay_. “Not in the mood to talk so don't bother asking. Just go watch the show.”

Jinhwan is used to dealing with him when he's like this, though. When Hanbin's moody no one talks to him except Jinhwan or Bobby, even though Junhoe is actually the one who tends to get through to Hanbin the best in these situations. He doesn't want any of them talking to him right now, though. He still needs to stew over the album, and he doesn't mind stewing over this stupid TV show either. _The more the merrier_ , he thinks bitterly.

“Okay, so we don't have to talk,” Jinhwan says, “do you need something else?” Jinhwan sidles up to Hanbin and sneaks his fingers under Hanbin's t-shirt, lightly scratching at his stomach. Sometimes when Hanbin's grumpy, Jinhwan can placate him with something physical—sex, or a blowjob—but Hanbin's not in the mood for that tonight.

“Unless you want it really rough, I don't think there's much you can do for me, but thanks anyway.” Hanbin bites back, lets his irritation creep out against Jinhwan. He usually feels guilty for doing it, but he's more hurt about Jinhwan watching the stupid TV show without him than he cares to admit, so guilt is nowhere to be found.

Jinhwan hesitates, curiosity gnawing at him over Hanbin's comment. He and Hanbin are never rough with each other in bed, the hardest they've ever gotten is pulling each other's hair. The lack of aggression isn't due to lack of interest—at least not from Jinhwan. He carefully chooses his answer and hopes that maybe this can be the bridge to a conversation he's been dying to have with Hanbin. “How rough?”

Hanbin turns his head to look at Jinhwan, fixes him with a bewildered expression. “Hyung, please tell me you're joking?” Hanbin asks, not amused and not in the mood for teasing.

Jinhwan shrugs. “I'm not.” He waits, but when Hanbin doesn't carry on, just shakes his head and looks back out at the skyline, Jinhwan pushes forward. “To be perfectly honest with you, I've actually thought about it before.”

“About what, exactly?” Hanbin asks, unsure what to make of Jinhwan's topic of conversation. He wants to shut him down and send him back into the apartment with the others, but Jinhwan's actually _nervous_ about his comment, Hanbin can hear it in his tone, and Jinhwan hasn't been nervous with him ever since they started fucking each other a year ago.

“About you being more aggressive in bed,” Jinhwan answers, watches Hanbin's face as he goes on, “I wonder what it would be like, to fuck B.I instead of Hanbin.”

“Really?” Hanbin is surprised by the admission, his gaze settling back on Jinhwan.

“Really,” Jinhwan confirms, “I've never said anything because I didn't think you'd be into it.”

“Well I'm _not_ into it,” Hanbin replies, even though Jinhwan's words have stirred something in him that he's trying to suppress. He turns his head again and wishes the air was colder, because he's feeling a little warm and he really needs to cool down.

Jinhwan hesitates, his body tense as he watches Hanbin. “Are you sure you're not?” He asks, and he knows it's a dangerous situation because he can see that Hanbin is clearly agitated right now. He likes to respect Hanbin's moods, likes to give him distance when he knows that Hanbin needs it. But this is something he's been thinking about a lot lately, and he can't bring himself to throw away the perfect opportunity to chase after his desires.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Hanbin asks, his tone icy and accusatory.

“It doesn't mean anything,” Jinhwan replies, backtracking slightly, “it was just a question. It's just that, sometimes people don't realize they want things until someone else brings them up.” He really hopes he isn't crossing a line.

“You think because I have a bit of a temper sometimes, it means I want to hit you during sex?” Hanbin asks, voice incredulous and laced with personal affront.

“No, you're hearing something in my words that isn't there,” Jinhwan replies calmly, hoping Hanbin will hear him out. “I'm just saying, it's something I've been thinking about, so if you ever think about it, you can tell me.”

Hanbin just stares at him for a minute, trying to make sense of the conversation. “You want me to hit you during sex, is what you're saying?”

“I don't know, not all the time? Just sometimes?” Jinhwan bites his lip, hopes he's not fucking things up between them. “Sometimes when we're training, the way you get all focused and aggressive is really hot, and I catch myself thinking about you fucking me right there on the spot, all fire and intensity.”

“Why would you even want that?” Hanbin asks, curiosity eating away at some of the aggression.

Jinhwan shrugs. “Why does anyone want anything? Not everything we end up wanting has to make sense. But you never know, it might make you feel better.”

Hanbin laughs bitterly and shakes his head. “I don't see how hitting you is supposed to make me feel better.”

“Try it and see,” Jinhwan offers, quickly looks through the balcony door, but no one is near them, the others still settled in the living room where he'd left them to continue watching yesterday's episode. “Slap me, right now, and see if it makes you less angry.”

Hanbin takes a step away from him. “I don't want to slap you.”

“Do it,” Jinhwan counters, aggression creeping into his tone, “I'm asking you to.”

“I don't want to.” Hanbin repeats, though he can't help but think about his feelings on the way back to the dorm, about how the only thing he wanted to do was hit something. But Jinhwan's not a punching bag.

Jinhwan isn't willing to drop it, though, and he takes two steps closer to Hanbin, gets up in his personal space in a way that he knows Hanbin will find annoying right now. “Stop being a fucking baby and just hit me, already.”

Jinhwan's crowding, coupled with his whiny tone is enough to set Hanbin off, and if Jinhwan wants it so damn badly Hanbin will give it to him. He lashes out with his right hand, catches Jinhwan's left cheek. The loud crack of skin on skin takes him by surprise and he's certain that everyone in the near vicinity heard it. Hanbin freezes on the spot, wide eyes on Jinhwan, his stomach cramping from guilt and nerves.

“Jinan-ie,” Hanbin whispers, as though he's afraid of drawing attention to himself, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that hard.”

Jinhwan's ear rings from the slap and his eyes tear up, but the sting on his cheek feels so damn _good_. The look in Hanbin's eyes right at his breaking point was exactly what Jinhwan had been after, the stony anger of his gaze boring straight into him. Jinhwan isn't surprised that his dick has gotten hard in the space of seconds. Hanbin's words snap him back to reality, though, and he focuses on Hanbin's worried face. The anger is gone from his eyes, and that's what Jinhwan had been after.

“You feel better though, don't you?” Jinhwan asks, reaches out and takes Hanbin's right hand.

Hanbin shakes his head, not willing to contemplate whether or not Jinhwan is speaking truthfully. “No I don't! I just slapped you, and I can see the mark. You think I should feel better after that?” Hanbin asks, confused and unnerved because he _does_ feel better. Slapping Jinhwan had been an amazing sense of relief and all of the irritation and frustration he'd carried home with him had dropped from his shoulders. He'd rather jump off the balcony than admit it, though.

“The mark will go away in a minute, it's not a big deal. You feel better, I know you do. You're not angry anymore.” Jinhwan is sure of it, and he rubs his thumb softly over the back of Hanbin's hand. “Be honest with yourself, Bin-ah.”

Hanbin swallows hard and looks away, can't bring himself to look Jinhwan in the eye. He can deny it all he wants, and he plans to do that, but Jinhwan is right. Hitting him made Hanbin feel better in the second before shame and guilt crept in, almost too short for Hanbin to have noticed it but he did notice it, and he's desperate to erase the meaning now. He pulls his hand away from Jinhwan and leans over the railing, determined to find some way to rewrite the scene. He doesn't want Jinhwan to know that he's right, doesn't want him to push at the topic, but he knows his stooped shoulders and turned back are giving Jinhwan the answer he's hoping to hear.

Jinhwan can see how tortured Hanbin is over it and he knows what that means, knows that he's right. He's only got a moment to salvage it all, though, has to think quickly in order to make things better. He reaches for Hanbin's hand again, holds fast when Hanbin tries to pull away. “Don't feel bad, please,” Jinhwan pleads, “I liked it.” Jinhwan pushes Hanbin's palm against the hard outline of his erection, wanting Hanbin to know exactly what the slap had done to him.

Hanbin looks down at Jinhwan in surprise. “You actually get turned on by people hitting you?” he asks, and he doesn't mean it as harshly as he says it. He's curious and he wants to understand, because understanding might make it better. Understanding might lessen his guilt and make him feel like less of a monster.

“Well, to be fair, no one's ever hit me before,” Jinhwan says, pleased that Hanbin hasn't pulled away, “but I've thought about it. I really liked it, though. You don't choose your kinks, Hanbin, sometimes they just develop naturally.”

Hanbin doesn't speak after that, isn't really sure what to say in response. He's never really thought much about kinks, about sexual fantasies. He likes fucking Jinhwan, likes being fucked by Jinhwan, and that's about it. He's never thought about anything more, never thought about going beyond the realm of _normal_.

Jinhwan thinks he might be safe, because Hanbin looks like he's contemplating it all. He hadn't run away, hadn't pushed Jinhwan away. Maybe he's got a chance at what he wants after all. He reaches up to cup Hanbin's cheek, middle finger tugging on his jaw slightly until Hanbin tilts his head and Jinhwan stands up on his toes to kiss him. Their lips are soft together and Hanbin sighs into the kiss, silencing the warring thoughts bouncing around his skull. His fingers tighten around Jinhwan's dick for a second before he slips his hand into Jinhwan's pants. Jinhwan shivers at the contact and it makes Hanbin grin.

“You wanna go inside?” Jinhwan asks, and by _inside_ he doesn't mean to join the others in watching TV.

“Not really,” Hanbin answers, hand still down Jinhwan's pants, stroking him in a way that makes Jinhwan's breath hitch, “I like it out here.”

Jinhwan whines low in his throat and his hands encircle Hanbin's neck lightly. He wonders if Hanbin is doing this to shift attention from what they just talked about, and he's tempted to bring discussion back to the slap because he wants to ask Hanbin if they can do it again. Wants Hanbin to promise that he'll do it again.

But he also thinks that he probably shouldn't be pushing his luck. He can bring it up again later. The most important thing right now is that Hanbin's dark mood that he'd brought home from the studio is gone, and Jinhwan is happiest when Hanbin is happy.

“You can't keep me out here and not do anything, though,” Jinhwan whines, hands moving to Hanbin's shoulders.

Hanbin grins down at him, pleasantly losing himself in the moment. “Who said I wasn't going to do anything?” He asks, punctuates the question with an extra hard squeeze to Jinhwan's dick.

“Blow me?” Jinhwan asks, smiling hopefully at Hanbin. He's happy with anything Hanbin wants to give him right now, but he'll play into the good mood and ask anyway.

Hanbin shakes his head. “Are you kidding? Maybe if I had a pillow to kneel on, and then it's only a maybe,” he teases, “you're just gonna have to settle for a hand job.”

Jinhwan pouts and lightly bats his hands against Hanbin's chest. “You should treat your hyung better, you brat.”

Hanbin grins and pushes Jinhwan back against the wall. “I could leave you and do nothing,” he offers, smiles when Jinhwan winds his arms around his back and pulls him closer.

“Fine,” Jinhwan dramatically huffs out, “I guess I'll accept your measly hand job.” He gasps the second after he speaks, Hanbin's second hand down his pants now and fondling his balls. Jinhwan grins at him and purses his lips. Hanbin leans down to give him the kisses he wants, and both of them are content to file away their reactions to the slap for later discussion.


	2. 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As stated in the last chapter, there's a slightly uncomfortable moment in this chapter. This will be the last instance of it, though. Just wanted to mention it as a reminder. ♥

“No, no, NO! What is wrong with you?!” Hanbin explodes, jumps up from the floor to demonstrate the move again. “Your arm is all floppy, it has to be precise!”

“Sorry,” Yunhyeong says, “I'll fix it.”

“You fucking better!” Hanbin spits out as he rounds on him, angry eyes settling on Yunhyeong's embarrassed face. He knows he's pushing it right now, knows that he needs to calm down, but he's been tense all morning. He was in the studio with Bobby until four in the morning, recording and re-recording his vocals because Bobby had kept screwing up his flow, and Hanbin sent him home without either of them being happy with the final product, certain he was going to scrap everything and have Bobby re-record tonight.

“Hanbin, don't be too hard,” Bobby says warningly, and he's only allowed to get away with it because Hanbin knows that he's right in calling him out. He still kind of wants to punch Bobby for interfering, though.

“Get back in formation and start it again.” Hanbin tells them, sitting down in front once more. He watches them, focuses on Yunhyeong almost as though he's looking for him to screw up again just so he can jump on the error. He should really take a break, go get a drink or something, get some fresh air. The stale air in the practice room can't be helping his mood right now.

Hanbin watches Yunhyeong only for the next two rounds before moving on to Junhoe, who fucks up a move right at the beginning and it's all Hanbin needs to set him off. He stops the music and stares, his mood not helped when Junhoe just stares right back at him.

“What the fuck was that?” Hanbin asks, and he's never scolded Junhoe like this before, knows it doesn't do him any good because Junhoe's personality does not respond well to being called out in front of everyone.

“I know I fucked it up, like _one time_ fucked it up.” Junhoe replies and he looks and sounds every bit as annoyed about it as Hanbin does. Even so Junhoe's holding back from a full on retort because they can all sense that something is off with Hanbin today, and no one wants a meltdown.

“It only takes one time,” Hanbin replies, voice full of venom, “you want to fuck it up the first time we perform it? How about our debut stage on Inkigayo? The fucking _concert_?!”

“Hanbin,” Bobby steps in again, ready to force Hanbin outside for a break if he snaps any further.

Hanbin turns his angry stare on Bobby, ready to spit fire at him about the four hours he wasted in the studio the night before. Junhoe isn't done, though, Hanbin's reply sucking out a response that Junhoe never intended to give.

“I know the fucking steps, okay? Don't yell at me--”

“Don't fuck it up, then!” Hanbin interrupts, he _wants_ to yell at Junhoe, at _someone, anyone_.

“I think we all need a break.” Jinhwan speaks up, because he can read both of them and he doesn't like what he sees. Hanbin and Junhoe are exceptionally similar, and while it's a good thing most of the time, it can quickly turn to a bad thing when they're both in volatile moods, and Jinhwan wants to head them off before one of them says something they'll regret.

“You'll get a break when everyone gets through this routine without a single fuck up.” Hanbin spits back.

“Bin-ah, don't be like that,” Bobby says softly, crouches down in front of Hanbin, “let's go outside for a bit.”

Hanbin narrows his eyes and directs his glare back at Bobby, who has the audacity to look surprised at it, as though he shouldn't be able to read how absolutely _pissed off_ Hanbin is at the moment. The surprise makes Hanbin even angrier, for some reason. “Don't fucking talk to me right now.” Hanbin retorts, and _God_ if he doesn't want to unleash everything on Bobby, all because he's an easy target.

Bobby is willing to put up with a lot because he understands how much pressure Hanbin is under, knows how hard Hanbin pushes himself, but even Bobby has a limit. “You're being unreasonable; you need a break more than anyone.”

Hanbin is in full-on viper mode right now, though, and he strikes where he knows it will wound Bobby the most. “Maybe if you hadn't _wasted_ four hours of my fucking time last night with shit recordings, I wouldn't be in such a bad mood.”

He should feel terrible when Bobby's face crumples—he should feel like absolute scum, but he doesn't. Instead Hanbin feels victorious, he feels _good_ , and it makes his stomach churn but he can't stop himself, can't claw his way back from the edge.

Jinhwan is the one who interrupts, the one who grabs Hanbin's hand and yanks him upright. “Outside, right now.” He can feel Hanbin resisting but he pulls on his arm, forcefully tugging him away. He needs him alone, needs him where there are no cameras around.

Hanbin follows but he's still steaming, still _angry_. He doesn't even know why—it was just choreography, the same as always, because someone's always making a mistake and that's normal. Even recording periods go terrible sometimes, he knows that, he knows it all, but it doesn't stick in his brain, doesn't make anything okay.

Jinhwan pulls him into the bathroom and pushes him against the door. He looks at Hanbin with pleading eyes. “Slap me.”

The weight of Jinhwan's worried stare is keeping him pinned to the door and he can barely shake his head _no_. “I'll hurt you.”

“Hanbin,” Jinhwan pleads, “you're not okay right now, just do it.”

Hanbin knows himself though, and he's terrified at the moment. “I can't.”

“Just hit me.” Jinhwan pleads again, frustrated because he's certain that giving Hanbin that little physical outlet will heal everything right now, but Hanbin won't take it.

“I can't,” Hanbin repeats, “I'll hit you too hard.”

Jinhwan thinks it would be worth it, because he can't handle internal discord amongst the members. It rarely happens, usually they're good at sorting out problems on the spot—Hanbin is always good at keeping them in line. But now Hanbin is the problem, and Jinhwan needs to fix it. No one else can.

It's not that Hanbin doesn't want to hit him—he's mortified to find that slapping Jinhwan is such an appealing prospect. But he knows himself and he knows that he's too angry to touch anyone right now. But Jinhwan is unrelenting, doesn't back down, doesn't give Hanbin space, and he needs to do _something_ , so he slides his fingers under Jinhwan's shirt, thinking that whatever he does needs to be somewhere covered so no one can see. He pinches skin in between his thumb and index finger, right at Jinhwan's side, and he squeezes hard . Jinhwan whimpers at the pinch, sucks air in between clenched teeth and all of a sudden Hanbin just feels _empty_ , like every little bit of anger he'd been holding onto dissipates into thin air.

Jinhwan feels the shift immediately, sees the irate anger drop off of Hanbin's face like a bead of sweat. He blinks and is surprised to find that his own eyes are watering. Hanbin's finger brushes over the spot he pinched and Jinhwan hisses, shocked at how much it hurts. But just like the other night on the balcony, Hanbin is better, and that's what matters the most. Hanbin is better, and Jinhwan might be in pain, but he kind of likes it. He pulls back slightly from Hanbin and lifts his shirt, inspects the spot and finds an angry red mark on the skin that stings when he touches it.

Hanbin bites his lip at the visual. What is he _doing_? This is even worse than the slap was. He feels better, sure, but at what cost?

Jinhwan touches the red mark again, and this time it makes him smile. It hurts, and the hurt is nice, but more than that it's a mark that won't go away quickly. It'll probably bruise. He's not entirely sure why, but Jinhwan likes the idea of the bruise. Likes the idea of Hanbin _marking him_. He looks back up at him because he needs to reassure Hanbin again, needs to make sure he knows that this is okay.

“Bin-ah,” Jinhwan says softly, “I like it.”

Hanbin just shakes his head and feels lost in the moment, lost in his brain. “It was too hard, I'm sorry. I _told you_ ,” he whines, and he hates that he's whining, hates that he's conflicted. He knows it's wrong, knows he shouldn't take any kind of joy out of _hurting_ Jinhwan, but he does. He does and he hates himself for it.

Jinhwan drops his shirt back down and slides his arms around Hanbin's back before nuzzling into his neck. “I like it that hard.” He kisses Hanbin's neck, kisses him along his jaw. He'll keep kissing him until Hanbin stops hating himself for what they're doing.

“But I hurt you.” Hanbin whispers and feels tears pooling in his eyes. He wipes at them halfheartedly, wants to be angry at himself.

“I wanted you to.” Jinhwan whispers back, and he means it. “I mean it, Hanbin. I wanted you to hurt me.”

“But why?” Hanbin asks, because he still doesn't understand it. Isn't Jinhwan only supposed to want it when they're having sex? This is the second time now that Hanbin has hurt him, and neither time started out where Jinhwan said he wanted it to start.

Jinhwan smiles at him, hopes he can convince Hanbin. “Because I like it,” he replies, and he straddles Hanbin's thigh, rocks himself against it, and Hanbin can feel exactly how much Jinhwan likes it in the bulge of his erection.

Hanbin laughs, half bitter and half hysterical. “I'm on the brink of a mental collapse and you _have a hard on_?” Hanbin whines, and Jinhwan can't help but laugh at him. Usually Jinhwan's sensitive, but something about laughter just feels right.

Something in Hanbin breaks seconds later and he joins Jinhwan, laughing at the situation too. It's just so absurd as far as he's concerned. They laugh until they're both in tears, and Hanbin wraps his arms around Jinhwan and buries his face in Jinhwan's hair. He kisses the top of his head softly. He feels better. Regardless of how he got to this point, it still remains that he feels better, and maybe he ought to listen to Jinhwan and learn how to be okay with the situation. But this is more than just a slap now and he can't help but be wary.

Jinhwan touches the spot, wincing because it still hurts. He lifts his shirt again and seeing the mark is enough to make him feel better, because that mark is Hanbin, it represents Hanbin on his skin, possessive and dominant and _God_ Jinhwan just wants to drop his pants and spread himself for Hanbin to take right now. He doesn't understand why it turns him on so much, but it does, and he hopes Hanbin can learn to accept it. They fit with each other, clearly.

Hanbin watches Jinhwan play with the pinched skin, feels concerned now that he's no longer clouded with negative thoughts. Is this really okay? Can he really do this to Jinhwan, just because Jinhwan asks for it? Hanbin can't help but feel like he's taking advantage of him, but it's not like he's the one asking for it. He didn't do it accidentally and then scramble to find some way to explain it and make it okay. It's all coming from Jinhwan.

But won't it just make him worse? Hanbin worries that the more comfortable he gets with hurting Jinhwan, the more he'll _want to_. He sighs and leans back against the door.

“This can't be healthy.”

Jinhwan knows what he means and he drops his shirt back down. “It's okay, Hanbin. It's a mutually beneficial thing, it helps us both.”

Hanbin can't just accept it, though. “That's going to bruise. I can't hurt you every time I get angry. That's not what this is supposed to be about.”

Jinhwan takes his hand and laces their fingers together. “No, you're right, it's not. It's stress release, sure, but we're learning, Hanbin. Next time we'll be more proactive, we'll head it off before you get that angry.”

“I don't want there to _be_ a next time!” That's the crux of Hanbin's concern, and he wants Jinhwan to understand that.

Jinhwan grins and leans against him, stretching up to kiss the tip of his nose. “Babe, we're a month out from debut. It'll probably get worse before it gets better.” Jinhwan smiles reassuringly and Hanbin needs it right now, needs to know that Jinhwan believes that it _will_ get better.

“I don't want _this_ to get worse.” Hanbin says, and he holds Jinhwan's gaze, packs words into it that he can't figure out how to say out loud.

But Jinhwan understands. “It won't, I promise. We'll talk about it, really figure out exactly what we're willing to do and when.” He cups Hanbin's cheeks with his hands, kisses his chin. “I won't let you get carried away, okay? This won't turn you into some raging lunatic who runs around hitting everyone.”

Jinhwan understands and Hanbin feels infinitely lighter at the words. “Promise?”

“Of course I promise.” Jinhwan replies, standing on his toes again to kiss Hanbin on the lips. Hanbin wraps his arms around Jinhwan's back and keeps him close while they kiss, but suddenly he's reminded of the others.

“Fuck, I really screwed up,” he laments, but Jinhwan knows them all well enough to alleviate his concerns.

“They'll forgive you, you know they will.”

Hanbin frowns. He knows he'll be forgiven, because they all understand that he's under a lot of pressure right now. But he doesn't want to need their forgiveness, doesn't want to be that kind of a leader. He doesn't want any of them walking on eggshells around him, doesn't want them to be afraid of upsetting him.

Jinhwan can tell he's still struggling and he grabs Hanbin's hands, squeezing them tightly. “Let's go get some ice cream, you can bring it as a peace offering.”

Hanbin grins at the suggestion. It wouldn't be the first time he's used ice cream to smooth things over. “Okay, let's go.”

They leave the bathroom and head for the exit, but just as they're about to step outside Hanbin remembers that his wallet is back in the training room, Jinhwan's too.

“Ah Jinan, we don't have any money!”

Jinhwan frowns and can't believe he didn't think about this. It would be weird if they went back to the training room. Should they forgo the ice cream, then? Or maybe offer to take everyone out of the building for it instead?

Hanbin comes up with an idea, though. “Come on, one of the hyungs should be in the studio.” He pulls Jinhwan up the stairs and down the first floor of recording studios. He finds what he's looking for in studio three. Hanbin opens the door and enters, while Jinhwan stands by the door, not quite so familiar as Hanbin is.

Teddy turns around at the interruption, smiling when he sees Hanbin. “What do you want?”

Hanbin smiles sheepishly at him. “Uh, can I borrow some money, hyung?”

That's clearly not what Teddy had been expecting, and Jinhwan is surprised to see that he reaches for his wallet anyway. “Forget your wallet at home?” Teddy asks.

“No, it's downstairs.” Hanbin answers and grins at Teddy's confused look. “I, uh, kind of yelled at everyone. I'm gonna go get them ice cream.”

Teddy laughs and shakes his head. “Here, take it, you child! Don't worry about paying me back either, a round of ice cream for the kids isn't going to break the bank.” Teddy laughs and Hanbin leans down to hug him awkwardly.

“Thanks, hyung! I appreciate it.” He grins at Jinhwan as they make their way back to the stairs. Hanbin feels ten times lighter when they step outside. It's a beautiful day out, and the sunlight lifts the final curtains of gloom from his brain. He'll be okay. He's stressed out and under a lot of pressure but debut is near and everything will work out. Sometimes he just needs a break to get his head together, and he needs to remember to take those breaks.

They make quick work of buying everyone's favourite ice cream and they're back in the basement, heading for the practice room, and Hanbin feels nervous. He knows everything will be fine in a minute after he apologizes and gives his peace offering, but he still feels guilty about it all. He really needs to get a handle on himself, because he can't do this again.

Jinhwan enters first and his smile is enough to set everyone's nerves at ease before Hanbin follows behind him, smiling apologetically and carrying two bags.

“I bought ice cream,” he says and holds the bags forward, and everyone understands what the ice cream represents, but Hanbin is still going to apologize anyway, because he needs them all to know that he really is sorry.  
  
“I’m sorry for being mean earlier. I should have done a better job of controlling my temper, you guys all deserve better.”

Junhoe gives him a grumpy look, though. “You can't just buy our forgiveness, you know.”

Hanbin digs in the bag and pulls out the strawberry cone. “I got your favourite!”

Junhoe narrows his eyes at him before his lips pull up into a grin and he reaches out to claim his prize. “Alright fine, you're forgiven!” Hanbin distributes the rest of the ice cream and tells them all to take a break and go sit outside. Everyone clears the room and soon Hanbin is left alone with only Bobby, who's been sitting on the floor the whole time. Hanbin sits next to him and places the bag in his lap.

“Got your favourite too, hyung.”

Bobby doesn't react, so Hanbin grabs his hand and threads their fingers together. “I'm really sorry about before. I was wrong to take it out on you, I know you were trying to help.”

“Is everything okay?” Bobby asks him, and Hanbin looks up to meet his concerned gaze. He nods.

“As good as it's going to be until we debut, at least.” Hanbin replies jokingly and cracks a small smile, but Bobby doesn’t return it.

“That's not exactly comforting.”

Hanbin gets serious again, which is a weird thing to do around Bobby. “It won't be that bad again, I promise. I knew I was in a bad mood before we came down, I should have been more proactive in fixing it. I can't do that to you guys. I promise it won't happen again.” Hanbin is always very careful about making promises, because he doesn't tend to make ones he's not sure he can keep. But after his discussion with Jinhwan, he knows he can give this one in absolute confidence.

“I worry about you,” Bobby says, and it catches Hanbin off guard, because Bobby's not much of a worrier. “This isn't too much for you, is it?”

“Nothing is too much after last summer.” Hanbin jokes, but Bobby doesn’t smile.

“You tried to run away last summer,” Bobby replies, “instead of talking to us. I know you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders, but we’re all here for you. Use us.”

Hanbin nods and holds Bobby’s gaze. “I know, you’re right. I just need to remind myself that it’s okay for me to ask for help.” Bobby smiles at the answer and Hanbin feels like he's said the right thing. He can count the number of times things have been awkward between he and Bobby, and so far one hand is still all he needs for the tally.

“Good,” Bobby replies before standing up and extending a hand down to Hanbin, “let's go outside before my ice cream melts.”

Hanbin lets Bobby pull him up and they share a brief but intense hug before separating and heading up to join the others. Hanbin's grateful that the crisis has been averted, but he knows that he's going to have to make good on his promise to be _proactive_ about managing his stress levels, and that will require Jinhwan's help.


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan does his research.

Jinhwan really hopes that no one at YG is ever going to confiscate his phone and look at his internet searches, because it might be a little hard to explain away why he’s been looking up things like ‘ _ slapping kink’  _ or ‘ _ rough sex for beginners’ _ . But he needs to research because he’s the one who wants it. Even though he thinks that Hanbin is willing to accept the idea of trying new things out, it’s still Jinhwan’s job to do all the research and answer all the questions he might have. At the end of the day, even though Jinhwan is the one looking to get hit, Hanbin is probably the one who’s more at risk of being hurt.

But Jinhwan isn’t going to let that happen, isn’t going to let his own interests get in the way of Hanbin’s clear conscience. Jinhwan loves him, wants to protect him from potential trouble, so while Hanbin is busy prepping their album, Jinhwan busies himself with research whenever he has a spare moment in between rehearsals and recordings.

At first it’s a little daunting, especially because he doesn’t find much of any use in Korean. He gets way more information in English, even though he has trouble understanding a lot of it. Of course it figures that out of everyone in the group, their two best English speakers, Bobby and Donghyuk, are pretty much the absolute  _ last _ people Jinhwan would expect to understand about his interest in this topic. Bobby would be opposed to violence of any kind, regardless of the fact that Jinhwan wants it, and Donghyuk would probably just spend the whole night praying.

Thankfully Hanbin’s English comprehension is better than Jinhwan’s, so he bookmarks pages for them to read together in hopes that Hanbin can make more sense of it than he can. But he still gets enough of it to figure out the basics, and he reads about things like safe words and contracts and aftercare. There’s just  _ so much _ that he needs to think about, and he wonders if maybe this is a bit much for them? Do they really need to worry about all of this? It’s not like he wants Hanbin to do much more than just slap him around.

But he remembers how bothered Hanbin has been both times, how guilty he’s been, and Jinhwan doesn’t want him to feel that way every time he does something. Besides, it’s not just the slapping that Jinhwan wants, really, it’s the whole attitude and aura that goes with it. Maybe he doesn’t even need the slapping. He read something about domination, about being bossed around and told what to do, and he thinks that maybe that would work too. Maybe Hanbin would feel more comfortable commanding him instead of hitting him.

It’s all up for discussion, though, and maybe with Hanbin’s comprehension all the website articles will help Jinhwan figure out exactly what he wants. So he assembles all the links and waits, asks Hanbin to pick a time. Of course there’s never a good time right now, they’re so busy. Eventually they settle on a late-night recording session. Usually Jinhwan prefers recording in the morning, but Hanbin is too busy with the producers during that time, so they decide to try his recordings at night.

It goes surprisingly well, and maybe that’s because Jinhwan is anxious about their discussion and he wants Hanbin in the best mood possible. They had planned for three hours of recording time, but Jinhwan only ends up needing two. He sits next to Hanbin as he plays around with the audio files, cutting and pasting sections together, always a little in awe when he watches Hanbin work. He’s just so  _ good _ at what he does, it’s so natural for him. Jinhwan’s always been a little jealous, always felt like he should try harder to help with the whole creation aspect of the music.

But Hanbin always tells him not to stress over it. Some people are born to create from the bottom up, while others are just born to showcase those creations. Being  _ just _ a singer doesn’t make Jinhwan any less of an  _ artist _ , at least not in Hanbin’s eyes.

Hanbin also likes being in firm control of things, so Jinhwan figures that too many people trying to create will just slow the process down. Best to let Hanbin do the majority of the creation. Jinhwan is content with being his muse.

He’s sitting anxiously beside Hanbin now because they’re finally finished with work. It’s just past midnight and Hanbin is reading over one of the websites Jinhwan had bookmarked, stopping here and there to translate words to make sure he understands what he’s reading. Jinhwan quietly waits for him to finish.

Hanbin is trying his best to go into this with an open mind, but he feels like he’s drowning underneath everything. Maybe if they weren’t so busy right now it would be better, and he can’t help but think that every minute he spends reading is a minute he could be spending working. That’s a toxic way to approach a sensitive topic though, so he’s trying to ignore his work-a-holic nature. He wants to give this his proper attention because even though he’s afraid of admitting it, the idea does appeal to him, somewhat.

Mostly he’s doing it for Jinhwan, though.

“ So, this was a lot to read,” Hanbin starts, sitting back and looking at Jinhwan, “how much of it do you think actually applies to us?”

Jinhwan sits up, eager to discuss everything. “I’m not sure, I kept thinking about what we want to get out of it, I think we need to figure that out first. Like, I want it just because I  _ want _ it, but it’ll be good for you because it’ll be a way to help you manage your stress levels.”

Hanbin nods, but Jinhwan can see the skepticism in his eyes.  “ I don’t want to develop some kind of reliance on this, though, to deal with stress. I’m worried that if I just siphon everything off onto you, won’t it keep me from actually dealing with stress properly?”

Jinhwan shrugs because it’s a good point, and he honestly doesn’t know for sure what will happen. “I think we’ll just really have to watch out for that. I’ll pay attention to how you interact with everyone, to make sure this side of you doesn’t come out with the others.”

Hanbin nods, but he’s still uncertain about the whole thing, still uncomfortable with this even being a  _ side _ of him.

“ You’re still unsure about it,” Jinhwan mentions, he can read Hanbin’s body language well enough to know. “Doing this isn’t going to make you a bad person.”

“ I know.” Hanbin says, though he still feels weird about it.

“ Do you?” Jinhwan asks, because Hanbin’s not being terribly convincing. “Plenty of people are into this stuff, harder stuff than we’ll ever be doing, and they’re good people.”

“ You don’t know that,” Hanbin interrupts, “just because someone writes a journal online about themselves, it doesn’t make any of it true.”

“ You’re right,” Jinhwan agrees, “but where’s the harm in believing them? Why is it so bad to want to believe there are other people who like the weird stuff you like, and that liking that weird stuff hasn’t made them a bad person?”

Hanbin contemplates Jinhwan’s comment in silence. He’s got a point. This whole thing will really only end up going however he and Jinhwan dictate it. It won’t get out of hand if they don’t let it get out of hand.

“ Okay, I’ll try.” Hanbin meets Jinhwan’s eyes as he says it, and Jinhwan can see that he means what he’s said.

“ That’s all I want,” Jinhwan answers, and scoots his rolling chair closer to Hanbin, “if you’re really uncomfortable with anything, then we don’t have to do it, and we can just go back to doing what we normally do. Just promise me that you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable? Don’t just do it for me to make me happy. I don’t want you to suffer through any of it.”

Hanbin nods and promises that he’ll be honest. Jinhwan makes the same promise, and then they drift through ideas together, keeping what looks interesting to them and junking what doesn’t. Soon they have a compact list of what they want to try, of things they’ll need to implement into their lives in order to make this work.

Jinhwan brings up Hanbin’s dominance, which surprisingly makes Hanbin laugh.

“ Don’t you get enough of that side of me in the studio or the practice room?” He teases, and Jinhwan smacks him.

“ That’s not the same!”

“ Isn’t it?” Hanbin asks. “You really want to go through four hours of me bossing you around in dance practice, only to go home and have me boss you around more?”

Jinhwan grins slyly. “There’s a difference between you bossing me around because you have to, and bossing me around because you want to.”

“ I’m not the one who wants it, though.” Hanbin replies back, but his tone is cheerful and teasing.

“ I’ll make you want it,” Jinhwan replies, and he puts his feet up on the armrests of Hanbin’s chair, knees bent so he can slide their chairs together and get as close as possible, “the first time we do it it’ll be so hot, you won’t stop thinking about it.”

“ You think so?” Hanbin replies, and his eyes flicker down to Jinhwan’s crotch, which is right out in the open, offered up right in front of him. Jinhwan’s already getting hard, Hanbin can see the outline of an erection. He wets his lips without thinking about it.

Jinhwan smirks because he knows that he’s got Hanbin’s interest. He has to be careful though, because they are on camera. “Yeah. We can use my room, you can sit on my bed and tell me to take my clothes off, make me sit on the floor at your feet and play with myself. I’ll do it, I’ll do anything you want.”

Hanbin has to admit that it does sound like a good way to spend the night. “Anything I want?” He asks, and Jinhwan nods slowly.

“ What do you want me to do right now?” He asks, and even though he knows it’s dangerous he’s still going to push. But the camera is over his shoulder, filming his back only. Hanbin is the one who has to really be careful.

Hanbin’s eyes flick up at the camera, reminding himself where it is, reminding himself of the angle. “Pull your dick out,” he says, and Jinhwan follows his instruction right away, popping open the button of his jeans and pulling the zipper down, hand down his boxers. He shoves them down over the tip of his dick, rubs his thumb over the head.

Hanbin is surprised at how much it turns him on. “All of it.”

Jinhwan pulls his boxers down further and holds them down with one hand, while the other curls around his erection. He’s fully out on display for Hanbin, and if anyone were to open the door and walk into their studio room, they’d get an eyeful of Jinhwan as well.

Hanbin just stares at him, feeling giddy with the thought of being in the studio with Jinhwan at one in the morning, dick out and just out of view of the camera. He thinks about what Jinhwan said, thinks about this at home, in the semi-privacy that comes with a lockable door, even if the walls are thin.

“ You don’t even have to make me do anything,” Jinhwan says, “just make me sit like this while you work, maybe naked, tell me just to sit next to you so you can look at me, so I’m there if you want to take a break to play with me.”

Hanbin doesn’t realize that his mouth has gone slack, because he’s imagining doing just that, sitting at his computer, working on a song, Jinhwan naked and hard beside him. Hanbin will make him wait, will make him sit there on display just because he can.

“ I’m yours, Bin-ah,” Jinhwan whispers, “you can do whatever you want with me.”

Hanbin swallows hard, thinks about bending Jinhwan over the desk and fucking him, thinks about making him stand next to him, ass lubed up and stretched out, making Jinhwan sit on his dick for a minute, only to make him stand up again while Hanbin works on another verse.

Jinhwan isn’t sure if Hanbin realizes that he’s got a very visible erection himself through his sweatpants, and he hopes the angle of the camera covers it. “You like that idea, don’t you?”

Hanbin smiles and knows that he’s probably blushing because despite the fact that they’ve fucked enough to not feel shy in front of each other anymore, something about this admission does make him kind of shy.

“ Hanbin,” Jinhwan calls to him, and when Hanbin looks back at him Jinhwan runs his fist slowly, teasingly up and down the length of his cock. “I’m so hard right now, just thinking about it, about letting you use me that way. Tell me you want to.”

“ I want to,” Hanbin answers, becomes aware of his own erection then, shifts in his chair and stretches his arm down in an attempt to subtly cover himself. “I want you so much right now, Jinan.”

Jinhwan grins and lets go of his pants, brings his hand up to his face so he can suck a finger into his mouth. “I want to suck your dick, Bin-ah.”

Hanbin bites his lip while he watches and he wishes that they weren’t doing this in front of a camera right now, because he’s surprised at the visual he gets from Jinhwan’s words. He fixes his gaze right onto Jinhwan’s eyes, and there’s something in Jinhwan’s expression that makes Hanbin feel intense and dangerous. “I want to hold you down and fuck your mouth until you choke on me.”

Jinhwan isn’t expecting the comment and it hits him like a slap in the face, shoots straight down to his toes and the next thing he knows he’s coming over his hand, a moan coming loud out of his mouth. Hanbin’s wearing an expression of glee as he watches him, and it makes Jinhwan feel even better because he’s sure he’s given Hanbin a taste of what they could have, and he seems like he’s getting hooked.

Plus Jinhwan is dying to hear more out of Hanbin, dying to hear him talk like that again. He wasn’t exaggerating when he said that he wanted Hanbin to  _ use him _ —he doesn’t know why he wants that, only that he’s desperate for it.

Hanbin is sitting up straight then, eyes looking around in surprise, like he’s shocked that they took things this far. Jinhwan is shocked too, hopes that no one was around to hear him. He locks eyes with Hanbin and they share a look of what probably passes as panic first, but seconds later they’re both grinning and giggling, disbelief that they did something so dumb and so dangerous.

“ Uh, let me go find you something to clean up with,” Hanbin says, and Jinhwan nods, hoping that no one is going to come into the studio before Hanbin gets back. But no one does, and he’s taking tissues from Hanbin, wiping off his dick and his hand out of sight of the camera. Hanbin’s still giggling over what happened, chair in front of the computer now as Jinhwan finishes cleaning himself off.

“ I’m done,” Jinhwan says, holding the soiled tissues in his hand because he is not leaving them in the studio garbage. He’ll flush them down the toilet because he doesn’t want any evidence of this sticking around.

“ Let’s go home?” Hanbin asks, and he’s got a fire in his eyes that’s almost enough to make Jinhwan hard again. He nods and stands up, follows Hanbin out of the room and down the hall.

Jinhwan may have cum, but he’s still got Hanbin’s erection to take care of, and that is going to have to wait until they’re back home.


	4. 4.

Hanbin wakes up in a bed that is not his own and he's confused for a moment before remembering why. He's in Jinhwan's room, wrapped up in his blanket, and he sits up then to grab his phone, hesitating before turning it on. They just released 'My Type' mere hours ago and he'd been keyed up for hours afterwards, they all had been. Even though they have a lot to plan for (like a concert in just over two weeks, and the fact that they've gotten one so soon is still blowing his mind) they still have the morning off, a present from Yang.

He wants to check on-line, wants to know what people are saying. The nerves are gnawing a hole in his stomach. The initial response last night was good, a roof hit in the song's first hour of release (unheard of for a debut track) but he's not kidding himself. It was a midnight release, and the only people that stay up waiting for new music are fans. The real story will be during the day when the general public has a chance to listen.

He hopes it'll be well received, of course, but at the same time he doesn't want to expect too much, because it is just a pre-release _warm up_ single, an extra gift to give their fans. Despite the fact that it's a good song and should be well-accepted by the public, he knows it's a fickle business, and every month there are plenty of good songs that go by, unnoticed. But it's their first single as iKON, a gift from Robin and Kush, and Hanbin is very protective of it.

He sits up with his phone in his hand, unsure if he ought to check or not. After a minute he suddenly wonders where Jinhwan is, because he's alone in the room. That question is answered quickly, at least, because not ten seconds later the door opens and Jinhwan comes in, bright smile shining at Hanbin.

“Have you checked yet?” Jinhwan asks, and Hanbin shakes his head. “We're up to five roof hits!”

Hanbin is shocked, not expecting it. “Seriously?”

Jinhwan nods and jumps onto the bed next to him. “It's charting well. If the YouTube views keep up at their current rate, we'll hit a million around noon!” Jinhwan is all smiles and Hanbin feels the most wonderful sense of relief flood his system.

They're not alone for long—Donghyuk comes bouncing into the room, jumping on the bed next to Jinhwan. “Hyung! It's doing well!” Hanbin grins and Donghyuk throws himself across his chest, arms tucking in underneath the blanket.

The others come streaming in next and even Junhoe is all bright smiles and giddy laughter, something Hanbin isn't used to seeing in the morning. They're all piled on the bed, checking for updates on Jinhwan's phone. Jinhwan reads comments out loud (only the good ones, because they've decided as a unit to not focus on anything negative) and Hanbin feels elated at the love.

Bobby's lying next to him and Hanbin threads their fingers together, laying his head against Bobby's shoulder. It's the most peaceful morning he ever remembers having, and for once he lets himself stay in the moment, doesn't think about the future, not even an hour from now.

They get up and crowd into the kitchen, where Yunhyeong and Chanwoo work together to cook them lunch, and their video surpasses the one million views mark as they're eating, just as Jinhwan had predicted earlier. Hanbin can't stop smiling, can't help but feel like crying from the relief.

Over four and a half years he's been training for this, waiting for it, lusting after it. It's one thing to finally debut, but to debut so strongly is almost unheard of. Hanbin finally checks his phone and gets bombarded with congratulations, but the one that hits him the hardest is from Yang himself. It's nothing particularly special or warm, just a simple “ _congratulations—first rookie to debut with roof hits_ ” but Hanbin hears the praise that Yang doesn't put into words, sees the smile Yang would probably be trying to hide if they were talking face to face.

It's enough to have him walking on clouds for the rest of the day.

* * *

“Come on, no studio tonight,” Jinhwan whines, pulls on his hand, “we all need a good night's sleep before our fan sign, and I'll sleep better knowing you're in bed and not working.”

“Same!” Bobby says, grabbing Hanbin's other hand, “listen to your hyungs!”

Hanbin grins and lets them both pull him up from the bench. They've just finished practicing for the night for their debut showcase (which is in three days' time) and Hanbin is actually pleased with how things are going. The other four are already on their way back to the dorm, leaving the trio to close up shop. Bobby and Jinhwan don't let go of his hands and Hanbin feels so content right now to be here with the both of them.

“I still can't believe it,” he says out loud, threading fingers with them, “everything’s going so well.”

“Mm, it's definitely still a dream.” Bobby replies, and clutches Hanbin's hand tighter.

“I'm not surprised,” Jinhwan says, and it makes Hanbin laugh, “Kim trio karma! We've all worked hard, we deserve every bit of this!”

“Only the three of us?” Bobby teases.

“The others aren't here right now, so yeah!” Jinhwan replies.

Hanbin can't get over his sudden overwhelming feelings of gratitude, though, and he blinks back tears before speaking. “I'm really happy we're still together, the three of us,” he speaks in a soft tone, knows they're going to tease him for it but he doesn't care.

Jinhwan lets go of his hand in favour of looping his arms around Hanbin and pressing himself into his side. Hanbin isn't going to complain about it, and he tucks his arm around Jinhwan's shoulders.

“We're lucky,” Jinhwan says, face pressed into Hanbin's chest, “four and a half years together and it's finally all paying off.”

“Ugh, you guys!” Bobby complains, but Hanbin knows it's just an act—Bobby is every bit as sentimental as Jinhwan and not afraid to express it. Usually Hanbin's the one complaining, and he's hit with how cute it is, that Bobby's taking his place instead.

“Jiwon, don't pull a Hanbin!” Jinhwan says, and Hanbin laughs at the timing of it. It's like they're linked mentally, the three of them, they always have been. Hanbin and Jinhwan share something extra that Bobby doesn't even know about, but that doesn't stop him from being in on their link.

Bobby grins and drops Hanbin's hand, puts his arm around Hanbin's shoulders instead, and Hanbin can't think of any place he'd rather be right now than walking home with these two. He winds his arm around Bobby's waist and pulls him in closer, feels so happy with how things are.

It's quiet when they finally make it home, the lights are out, and Hanbin knows they should all just head to bed too, but he can't help but feel disappointed if the night ends here. He's not the only one, though, and soon they're sitting in the kitchen quietly, not even talking but enjoying each other's company. There's something comforting in the close proximity.

Hanbin is in the middle and he looks at Jinhwan, notices him staring. Sometimes he wants to tell Bobby about his relationship with Jinhwan, wants him to know so they don't have to hide it from him, but it's hard to know how he'll react. There are so many factors at play, and Hanbin has always been worried that if Bobby knew, he'd feel alienated, pushed out of their trio.

But he wants to lean forward and kiss Jinhwan so badly right now, wants Jinhwan to sit in his lap so he can be closer. Instead he just locks eyes with him, and there's something challenging in Jinhwan's return gaze that has Hanbin speaking.

“Jinan, get me some water.” It's the tone of voice he uses when he bosses Jinhwan around in bed, and that fact isn't lost on Jinhwan, whose eyes widen in surprise at hearing the tone. A second passes in silence before Hanbin realizes that maybe he shouldn't have said it, not in front of Bobby.

But Jinhwan recovers first. “Get it yourself!” His tone is shocked, but Hanbin knows that if Bobby wasn't here, Jinhwan would have been on his feet and padding over to the fridge already, quick to do Hanbin's bidding. As it is Jinhwan's at war with his instincts, wanting to follow through but not wanting Bobby to see him do it.

Hanbin grins and nudges him. “You're closer!” The retort sounds like something he'd usually say, sounds like an excuse he's probably given before. Hanbin hears Bobby chuckle next to him and he's pretty sure he's safe.

“Can you believe this kid?” Jinhwan whines, looking from Hanbin to Bobby, “bossing me around like I'm not his hyung.”

Hanbin grins again and gives him a pleading look. “I'm tired!”

Jinhwan shakes his head and Bobby laughs, amused at their back and forth. “I'm tired too, Hanbin! Tired of your bullshit.” Jinhwan laughs as soon as he says it, and maybe it's the late night hour, but Hanbin and Bobby both start giggling too, and the three of them are all crying before long, happy, elated tears streaming down their cheeks. It feels good, Hanbin thinks, he feels free in the moment, light without the added weight of his usual concerns.

But Jinhwan still gets up to fetch the water, brings Hanbin a full glass with ice cubes. He brings one for Bobby too, and the way Hanbin's eyes follow him as he walks leaves Jinhwan feeling a little flustered. He doesn't know if Hanbin is fully aware of the effect he's having, but damn if Jinhwan's dick isn't hard already.

But he can't act on it, not with Bobby here. So instead he does the next best thing and he stands behind Hanbin, fingers rifling through his hair, scratching his scalp. Hanbin lets out a contented little mewl, eyes closed and leaning back into Jinhwan.

“You should stop spoiling him, Jinan, this is why he's bratty with you!” Bobby teases as he watches them, but he's got an affectionate smile on his face.

“I am not!” Hanbin whines. He opens his eyes to look at Bobby, and when he sees the smile being directed their way Hanbin smiles back.

“Ah he can be a brat once in a while, I don't mind,” Jinhwan replies, leaning forward and hugging Hanbin, “he's been such a good boy lately with everyone.” Jinhwan's tone is teasing and he kisses the top of Hanbin's head.

Hanbin's about to protest the comment out of slight embarrassment. It feels weird, hearing Jinhwan call him a _good boy_. It almost feels backwards, like he should be the one saying it about Jinhwan instead. But it's still kind of nice, though, for reasons he can't really explain.

“Yeah he has been,” Bobby agrees, “boxing seems like it's been helping a lot.”

Hanbin catches Bobby's eye and he feels warm at the comment. While he knows that he's calmed down lately, it's nice to hear it acknowledged by someone that isn't privy to all the details, by someone other than Jinhwan. He smiles back at Bobby. “Thanks, hyung, I'm trying.”

“Well you're doing a good job.” Bobby drains his glass of water and stands up. “I'm gonna have a quick shower and then head to bed. It was a good chat, though.” Bobby stares at them for a moment before coming over to wrap his arms around the both of them. “I'm happy we're still together too.”

Hanbin's tempted to push him away and complain about the comment like he usually does, but he decides not to, and instead he just accepts the hug and lets himself feel good about it, about them. He's gotten to debut with his boyfriend and his best friend—Hanbin knows how lucky he is.

Bobby pulls away then and heads down the hall, and it's just Hanbin and Jinhwan left. The atmosphere changes instantly, and Hanbin gets a sudden idea in his head and he turns around, looking up at Jinhwan.

Jinhwan's smiling down at him but his expression falters when he sees the look on Hanbin's face. What takes hold of Jinhwan looks a little like trepidation, and he stands still in front of Hanbin, wonders if something's about to happen.

Hanbin looks at him in silence for a moment, feeds off the nervous excitement before speaking, his voice low. “I can't believe you spoke back to me, earlier, when I gave you a direct command.”

Jinhwan was already half hard but the second he hears Hanbin speak it goes straight to his dick. “About the water?” Jinhwan clarifies, even though he knows what Hanbin means.

“Yes,” Hanbin replies, and he can see Jinhwan's erection through his sweatpants, and that's all the cue he needs to continue. “I thought you were supposed to do whatever I tell you, without complaint.”

Jinhwan swallows hard, straining to keep his hands at his side when all he wants to do is touch himself. “But Bobby was here.” Jinhwan answers.

“I don't care,” Hanbin replies, “you broke the rules. I'm upset with you.”

Jinhwan knows it's not true—knows it's just for play—but part of him feels like crying anyway, just because he never wants to hear that from Hanbin. His voice wavers a little as he speaks. “What do I have to do, to make it up to you?”

Hanbin hears the waver and he's surprised at what it does to him—how much it turns him on. Jinhwan is so receptive to what he says and how he says it and Hanbin almost feels drunk off of the power of his own voice. “You know what I want,” he says with slightly narrowed eyes, and he grins when Jinhwan obediently drops to his knees in front of Hanbin's chair, hands coming up to palm Hanbin through his sweatpants

Jinhwan keeps the eye contact, feeds off of it, aches with his own arousal. But instead of reaching for himself he reaches for Hanbin, slides a hand down his pants and pulls the elastic down, exposing Hanbin's dick. Jinhwan is pleased to find Hanbin is just as hard as he is, because it means that Hanbin does enjoy this too, it means that he's not just doing it for Jinhwan.

As soon as the air hits his dick Hanbin wants to reach out and shove Jinhwan's head down on him, but he forces himself not to. He's still a little shocked at how into this he's getting, at how much he enjoys telling Jinhwan what to do. The way Jinhwan will pout at him if he gets a command he isn't enthused to follow, the way he'll whine and plead if Hanbin doesn't give him what he wants. But it's the look in Jinhwan's eyes when Hanbin holds something over his head, the fearful and nervous wide-eyed gaze when Jinhwan thinks he's in trouble. That's what turns Hanbin on the most.

Hanbin watches intently as Jinhwan leans forward and swallows his dick, sucks so hard that Hanbin hisses out loud and curls his fingers around the seat of his chair. There's a gleam in Jinhwan's eye, pride at drawing the noise out of him. Hanbin's not sure he likes it right now, it feels like Jinhwan is trying to shift the power in his direction.

“You'd better hurry up and finish blowing me before Bobby gets out of the shower and walks by,” Hanbin says, and Jinhwan's eyes look a little panicked again, “you don't want him to see this, do you?”

Jinhwan shakes his head even with his mouth still full of Hanbin. He doesn't really think Hanbin would go that far, would he?

“You're not coming up until I cum,” Hanbin tells him, voice hard and direct, and Jinhwan's eyes go wide again. “So you only have minutes, and you'd better use them wisely.”

Jinhwan can't explain why he loves this, Hanbin threatening him with discovery, but it turns him on so much that he wants to stop sucking Hanbin and instead offer his ass, wants Hanbin to fuck him hard right here in the kitchen. He's even contemplating the thought when suddenly he feels a weight on his head, Hanbin's fingers curling into his hair.

“I'm not even close, Jinan. Do you want Bobby to walk by and see this? You on your knees, mouth full with my cock?”

Jinhwan shakes his head again and he swears he could probably cum just from listening to Hanbin talk to him like this. He sucks harder, his hands fondling Hanbin's balls, his eyes trained on Hanbin's.

Hanbin loves having his dick sucked, loves how good at it Jinhwan has become over time. But right now it's not Jinhwan's mouth that's driving him crazy but his eyes. He actually looks a little scared and Hanbin thinks it's the hottest thing in the world, thinks he could probably cum from that alone.

“That's better,” he praises, hand still rubbing over Jinhwan's head, “suck it like you want me to cum in your mouth.”

Jinhwan moans around Hanbin's dick, takes him in even further, fighting to control his gag reflex. He can feel his eyes start to water with the struggle but he doesn't back off, doesn't raise a hand to wipe at his eyes either. He's pretty sure Hanbin likes it, anyway, the tears. Hanbin's staring at him with even more intensity when Jinhwan feels the first one loose from his lashes and splash down his cheek, sees Hanbin tense in the chair, can hear his breathing get harder.

Jinhwan sniffles and chokes himself on purpose, gagging around Hanbin in order to bring on more tears. He does it for Hanbin, intoxicated by the way he can see Hanbin get more turned on, he can see his body tighten and creep closer to orgasm.

Hanbin is certain he could cum any second, watching Jinhwan cry, his glassy eyes and wet cheeks stoking Hanbin's already burning fire. He pulls on Jinhwan's hair suddenly, hard, and Jinhwan reacts the way Hanbin wants, by pulling away from him, letting Hanbin's dick drop out of his mouth. A line of spit connects them and Hanbin just wants to blow his load all over Jinhwan's face.

He sits up on the edge of his chair just as Jinhwan comes back to himself and leans forward again, wants Hanbin's dick back in his mouth. But Hanbin stops him.

“Open your mouth,” he commands, and Jinhwan does as asked, sits on his heels and opens wide, hands resting on his knees, waiting. “Tongue out.”

Jinhwan obediently sticks his tongue out, barely keeps a whine from slipping out too. His hands are balled into fists in his lap, achingly close to his dick, but Jinhwan won't touch himself without Hanbin's permission.

Hanbin keeps his eyes locked on Jinhwan. “Tell me what you want.” Hanbin demands, stares so hard he can practically feel his own gaze boring right through Jinhwan.

Jinhwan whimpers before speaking. “Cum in my mouth.”

Hanbin grips the seat of his chair with both hands. “Do it yourself, hands only.”

Jinhwan is lightning fast in response, hands flying up from his lap to grab Hanbin's dick, pumping it quickly as he keeps his tongue out, desperate for the hot splash of Hanbin's cum.

“Better do it before Bobby sees you,” Hanbin says, and the alarm in Jinhwan's eyes is exactly what he needs to finish the job. Hanbin groans as he cums in Jinhwan's mouth, most of it landing on his tongue. A few drops splatter against his cheek and Hanbin wishes he had a camera.

Jinhwan feels so desperate to taste Hanbin that he sighs out loud as he feels it hit his tongue, the saltiness of it teasing his tastebuds. He doesn't swallow until he's sure that he's milked it all out of Hanbin, keeps his tongue out for Hanbin to see.

Hanbin shakes his head when he's done, draws a shuddering breath before speaking. “Don't swallow,” he says, voice soft but his eyes commanding, and Jinhwan obeys his command, stays still, tongue out, spit dripping from his lips. It's so obscene but Hanbin loves it, wants to etch it into his memory.

“You can swallow now,” he says when he gets his visual fill, grinning when Jinhwan grimaces as he swallows. Even though Hanbin loves sucking Jinhwan's dick and even though he always swallows, he's not a fan of the taste at all. Even so, cum is best consumed hot, and he feels just a little guilty for making Jinhwan wait until it cooled.

Jinhwan sits back on his heels and drops his hands to his knees again, feeling a mixture of pride and embarrassment. He loves bringing Hanbin to orgasm, loves knowing that he's responsible for it, but sitting there with the evidence of Hanbin's pleasure cooling on his tongue and his cheek is making him blush. He wipes at the last specks with his finger and sucks them down.

Hanbin watches him with a happy smile on his face and he lazily tucks his dick back into his pants. “You're such a good boy,” he says, and he grins when Jinhwan blushes at the compliment. He hears the shower turn off and knows they only have barely a minute before Bobby's going to be walking down the hall. Hanbin leaves Jinhwan sitting on the floor, makes him wait.

Jinhwan watches as Hanbin stands up, wonders if he should stand up too, but he's still so caught up in the whole scene. He's already pleased Hanbin but he wants to continue pleasing him, desperate to hear praise again. It felt weird, Hanbin calling him a _good boy_ , their age dynamics making things just a bit more complicated, but Jinhwan is pretty sure he likes it, pretty sure he wants Hanbin to call him a good boy again.

Hanbin finally motions for Jinhwan to stand up and he does, knees popping as he straightens his legs. They're barely standing together for ten seconds before Bobby walks into view.

“Go to bed!” Bobby teasingly whispers at them, towel draped low around his waist.

“I was waiting for you to finish in the shower!” Jinhwan whispers back on a whim, slightly nervous about how he and Hanbin look. Does it look weird that they’re just standing here? What does Bobby think they've been doing?

“You could have used the other one!” Bobby replies, grinning when he sees Jinhwan give him a look. The other shower is the one attached to Bobby's room that he shares with Hanbin and Junhoe.

“I didn't want to wake Junhoe up!” Jinhwan says back, relieved that Bobby doesn't seem awkward at all, and the exchange makes Hanbin giggle, though Jinhwan thinks it might also be post-orgasm elation that makes it funnier for him.

Bobby just shakes his head and smiles before continuing down the hall to his room. Jinhwan looks up at Hanbin then, relieved that they're once more alone, and he slides up to him and winds his arms around Hanbin's back.

Hanbin looks down at him, pleased with the closeness. He just wants to wrap Jinhwan up in his arms and kiss him, but Jinhwan looks like he wants something else.

“So, are you gonna help me, or what?” Jinhwan asks, and it feels a little strange, he feels like maybe he should be asking in a different way. Usually he doesn't have to ask at all if he makes Hanbin finish first—Hanbin always makes sure Jinhwan cums too.

Hanbin thinks about sinking down and blowing Jinhwan, because he's not in the habit of being a selfish lover, but a sudden thought creeps into his head at that moment. “I don't think I will,” he replies, leans forward so he can whisper in Jinhwan's ear, “let this be a lesson to you,” he pulls back just far enough to stare into Jinhwan's eyes, “don't _ever_ say no to me.”

Jinhwan shivers at the words, can't help but straddle Hanbin's leg and rub up against him. “Hanbin--” he whines, though he's not entirely sure what he's whining for. He wants help with his erection, but he also wants Hanbin to talk to him like that again.

Hanbin shakes his head. “Shh,” he says, “don't say a word. You brought this on yourself, don't you dare ask me for help.” Jinhwan's eyes are pleading and Hanbin feels like he could probably get hard again if Jinhwan keeps this up. “Stop rubbing against me and go finish in the shower.”

Jinhwan takes a reluctant step back, still shaking, still yearning. _God_ this is so hot, he thinks, it's such an irresistible turn on. He stands there and stares at Hanbin, doesn't want to leave things like this. His dick is achingly hard, he feels like he'd barely last more than a few strokes. Usually he doesn't cum so easily, but this whole aura surrounding Hanbin is affecting him in ways he never dreamed it would.

Hanbin narrows his eyes and stares back. “I said go finish in the shower,” Hanbin commands, “I'm teaching you a lesson about obedience right now, and you're pushing back _again_?” Hanbin takes a step forward, looms menacingly over Jinhwan. “Do you want me to punish you?”

Jinhwan's so wound up at the words and the atmosphere that all it takes is a shift in his stance, the friction of his dick against his jeans is enough and he cums suddenly with a gasp, eyes closing as he feels the sweet release of orgasm ripple through his system. He's never cum like this before, unexpectedly and without being touched.

Hanbin's mouth drops open in shock as he watches, because he knows what Jinhwan looks like in the act, and he can't believe he's pushed him over the edge with words alone. He grins and reaches out for Jinhwan, runs his hands down Jinhwan's slack arms before embracing him. Hanbin kisses his neck and whispers in his ear. “Did you just cum?”

Jinhwan sighs when Hanbin pulls him close, feels like a balloon that's floated up into the sky and Hanbin's embrace is the comforting yank of his tether when he's reached the end of the rope. His anchor. His safety net. “Yeah,” he shyly replies and buries his face into Hanbin's chest.

Hanbin grins and brings a hand up to comb through Jinhwan's hair, thumb brushing lightly over his forehead. “Damn, Jinan, that was so fucking hot.”

Jinhwan can't help but giggle. “You're hot,” he replies, looking up to catch Hanbin looking at him with an affectionate smile. It's so far on the other side of the spectrum from the look Hanbin was giving him not even twenty seconds ago and Jinhwan almost can't believe Hanbin is the same person.

Hanbin grins and kisses his forehead. “You're cute.”

Jinhwan pouts at the comment. “I'm not cute!” he whines, “tell me I'm sexy.”

Hanbin laughs and tightens his arms around him. “Fine, you're sexy.”

Jinhwan groans and shakes his head. “Say it like you mean it!”

Hanbin laughs again and leans down to capture Jinhwan's lips in a kiss that makes Jinhwan's knees even weaker than they already are post-orgasm. Hanbin pulls away and whispers in Jinhwan's ear. “You're so fucking sexy, every time I look at you it makes my dick hard.”

Jinhwan smiles and feels blissfully content with that answer. They stand together in the kitchen for a bit, Hanbin softly running his fingers over Jinhwan's skin, arm tight around Jinhwan's shoulders, and Jinhwan finds his thoughts coming back to the idea of Hanbin as an anchor. Eventually Hanbin pulls back, though, and Jinhwan knows they have to part but he still whines about it anyway.

“Go shower up and get some sleep.” Hanbin tells him, but it's not with his direct commanding voice that makes Jinhwan hard. Instead it's a voice full of love and affection and longing.

Jinhwan feels like he must be the luckiest person in the entire world. “I will,” he replies, “you have a good sleep too.”

“I definitely will.” Hanbin replies as he kisses his forehead.

Jinhwan could melt from the tenderness, it's such a contrast from minutes before. Without giving it a second thought he catches Hanbin's lips in a quick kiss before whispering against his cheek. “I love you.”

Hanbin's breath catches in his throat at the words—it's not something they often say to each other out loud, even though it's always obvious in the way they touch or look at one another. It makes his stomach do annoying little flips and it makes his heart beat a little faster. “You better,” Hanbin replies, for some weird reason feeling a little too shy to say the words back.

Jinhwan isn't about to let him get away with it, though. “Hanbin!” He whines, looks up at him with pouting lips and hopeful eyes.

It does the trick. “I love you too.” Hanbin blushes when he says it, dips his head quickly to kiss Jinhwan's cheek and bury his head in Jinhwan's hair. He feels Jinhwan's arms slide tightly around his back and Hanbin feels so grateful to have him, in awe of how perfect Jinhwan is, of how perfect they are together.


	5. 5.

“ You've been disobeying me so much lately, it's a little concerning.” Hanbin says, crossing his arms over his chest. Jinhwan looks down at him with a guilty expression. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Jinhwan isn't sure if he's supposed to say anything—isn't sure if he wants to say anything. The majority of the time that he's disobeyed Hanbin has been when they're in front of the others. While it's been years since Hanbin has ever deferred to Jinhwan based on age respect (at least when it's just the seven of them) there's still a line that Jinhwan isn't sure they should be crossing in front of the members.

Hanbin's eyes are greedy as they rake over Jinhwan, feeding off of his diminutive aura. “Maybe it's time we talk about punishing you, for not listening to me.”

Jinhwan's eyes go wide at the comment and he tenses, swallows hard and waits. The idea of being punished feels wickedly alluring.

Hanbin regards him silently, thinking about it, deciding if he wants to tread this new ground. It was on their list, after all, of things they thought they could try at some point. Hanbin wasn't really feeling it at the time that they'd written it down, but Jinhwan had persisted, had said he could wait for Hanbin to get comfortable with the domination aspect. He's comfortable now, so he thinks the time is ripe.

“ Pants down,” Hanbin commands, and his eyes narrow when Jinhwan looks at him in surprise. “Do I have to repeat myself?” Hanbin asks, tone just a touch shy of angry.

Jinhwan shakes his head and unbuttons his jeans in a rush, shoving them down around his knees, his underwear quickly following. He feels awkward standing in front of Hanbin, unsure about what exactly it is that Hanbin plans to do. They'd briefly discussed the aspect of punishment a month ago, but Jinhwan knows that Hanbin had been more uncomfortable with it than he'd admitted. Was he really ready for it now?

Hanbin waits, watches as Jinhwan fidgets nervously in front of him. He still finds it weird that he likes this so much, likes seeing Jinhwan nervous and a little afraid. He has to fight with himself sometimes, has to shut down the parts of his brain that tell him that he  _ shouldn't _ like it, that there's probably something wrong with him for liking it. He's certain the hesitation will pass eventually, because it's easier to manage now after a just month.

But this is new, and it's on an entirely different level.

Hanbin stares expectantly at Jinhwan, doesn't say anything to him out loud. There's a command in his gaze, though, a silently ushered direction to  _ do what you're supposed to do _ even though he hasn't specified to Jinhwan what that something is just yet.

Jinhwan looks back at him in confusion, doesn't know what Hanbin wants. He knows what  _ he _ wants, but he's too afraid to ask for it, too afraid to offer it himself, which is kind of weird, because this whole being afraid of Hanbin thing is confusing at times. Because Jinhwan's not  _ really _ afraid of him—he knows that Hanbin would never do anything to hurt him. But the possibility exists that he  _ could _ if he wanted to. He's bigger than Jinhwan, stronger than Jinhwan.

It's not that Jinhwan's weak or a pushover. But he likes the tension, likes feeling as though he could snap it and shatter everything with one wrong move. He likes thinking that he could push Hanbin over the edge, the way he did that first night on the balcony. He still remembers the feel of the slap, how much he liked it, how desperate he's been to feel it again. But they've barely done any of that, Hanbin so far has been more at ease with spoken control and verbal domination. Jinhwan wants the physical, though, wants to writhe and squirm in Hanbin's grasp.

Hanbin wonders if Jinhwan is drawing this out on purpose, if he's trying to make Hanbin extra irritated so he's harder on him. “What do you think I want from you, right now?” Hanbin asks, and it's clear from his tone of voice that he  _ is _ irritated.

Jinhwan swallows hard and finds it tough to talk, almost like he's been strangled with his own conflicting desires. “To fuck me?” He replies, even though that's not what he wants to say.

Hanbin laughs at the answer, but it's not amused at all. “You actually think I want to fuck you right now? I'm talking about punishment, and you think that means fucking you?”

Jinhwan's heart thumps wildly in his chest because he's sure now that Hanbin is ready, sure that he means to give Jinhwan what he desperately wants. “I don't know.”

“ You don't know?” Hanbin asks, plays  _ perfectly _ into the role that Jinhwan has crafted for him. “I told you to lower your pants, what do you think that means?” He's silent for a moment, drinking in the sight of Jinhwan cowering in front of him. “I'm going to ask you again. What do you think I want from you?”

Jinhwan can't say it. He wants to, wants to ask for it, even, but it  _ is  _ supposed to be punishment, and Hanbin might not view it that way if Jinhwan begs him for it. So he stays quiet.

Hanbin lets out a disappointed huff and pats his legs. “On your stomach.”

Jinhwan shakes as he lowers himself over Hanbin's legs, wonders if it's from fear or nervous excitement? He's had fantasies about being spanked for so long but he's always repressed them, always thought it was something he shouldn't want. It's uncomfortable lying over Hanbin's legs, the way they dig into his rib cage, but Jinhwan doesn't say anything. His hands shake as they settle against the floor, fingertips on the wood, and he hopes Hanbin doesn't mistake his nervous appearance for actual fear.

Hanbin waits as Jinhwan gets himself situated, wonders if he should address how nervous he seems. While he thinks it's hot when Jinhwan gets like this, it is a bit much and Hanbin doesn't want to do it if Jinhwan isn't actually into it. Because while the whole point is punishing him, Hanbin knows that he's still supposed to enjoy it. He remembers reading that a lot of people who like being spanked usually end up achieving orgasm over the course of the spanking, but Jinhwan almost seems like he's too nervous.

“ You know how to stop me, right?” Hanbin asks, hand settling lightly over Jinhwan's ass, waiting for acknowledgement.

Jinhwan nods, breathes out through his mouth to try and steady himself.

Hanbin takes that as a sign that Jinhwan is still okay, that he's not going too far. “Like I said before, I feel like you've been testing me lately, pushing back when I give you orders. This is to remind you who's in charge, to show you what happens from now on when you disobey me.”

Jinhwan drinks up the words, is certain they'll be ones he repeats in his head the next time he jerks off. He's tense in Hanbin's lap as he waits for it, wonders how hard Hanbin is willing to hit. They're alone, so it's a prime opportunity for them to be noisier than usual.

Hanbin slowly runs his fingers over the soft skin of Jinhwan's cheeks, trailing to his upper thighs, builds tension that he can sense in the way Jinhwan almost seems to pulse in his lap, already squirming in anticipation. Hanbin's never done this before, never even thought about spanking someone (not unless he counts their group tradition of birthday spankings, but the atmosphere during those times is so completely different, and it’s never over the lap) so he's feeling nervous about how he's supposed to do it. It seems simple enough, but it's different when you have a body in your lap. It feels like performing, and suddenly Hanbin's remembering last summer, thinks about his Show Me The Money audition, feels the same sense of nervousness.

All he has to do is raise his hand and slap it down against Jinhwan's ass. It's not hard, not complicated at all. But that's how he felt during the audition, all he had to do was look his judge in the eye and spit rhymes. Instead he'd blanked, forgotten everything. He'd been lucky that Dok2 had been his judge, half the others probably would have failed him on the spot.

He takes a deep breath and focuses on Jinhwan, because he doesn't want to blank and ruin what should be a simple thing. He brings his hand up and he can feel Jinhwan tense beneath him as soon as Hanbin's fingers leave his skin, and Hanbin quickly brings his hand down, a loud  _ crack _ as he hits Jinhwan in the middle of his cheek.

Jinhwan whimpers at the first hit, curling up around Hanbin's leg, face flushed with heat. It feels so good but there's a sense of shame buried there, shame in having it done, shame in enjoying it.

Hanbin's fingers tingle after the slap, and he wonders briefly if it was too hard? It was loud, and he's grateful no one else is home, but he wonders if the neighbours can hear it. Should they have put music on? Should he do that now?

_ Focus! _ He shakes his head to clear it of conflicting thoughts and swats at Jinhwan's ass again, the slap not as loud this time, even though he used just as much force. He wonders if there's a hidden art to this, if there's a specific way or place to hit for maximum sound? He likes the sound, as much as he hates to admit it. Likes it a little too much, given the strain of his dick in his pants.

Jinhwan holds his breath waiting for the next strike, crying out when it comes, whimpering when Hanbin follows it up with three more in quick succession. Hanbin settles into a fast rhythm that makes Jinhwan achingly hard, so turned on he actually feels like crying.

Jinhwan's skin is starting to burn just a little, the hits are actually hurting, and he takes one hand away from the floor, barely aware of his actions as he gropes backwards for Hanbin's hands. “Stop it, Hanbin!”

Hanbin does stop, he worries that he's taken it too far, that he's hurt Jinhwan. But Jinhwan's dick is hard against Hanbin's leg, and Hanbin remembers that even though Jinhwan has said  _ stop _ , he hasn't used his safe word.

Hanbin is doing this for a reason, he's playing a role, and Jinhwan is playing a role as well. It's hard to remember that when Jinhwan is trembling in his lap, sniffles and whines the only thing he's offering right now. Hanbin grabs his wrist, wrestles Jinhwan's arm back over his head.

“ You know how to stop me,” Hanbin says, waits for a moment, gives Jinhwan the opportunity to say what he needs to say if he really wants Hanbin to stop.

But Jinhwan says nothing, just struggles in Hanbin's grasp, so Hanbin slaps him again, both cheeks, waits for Jinhwan's reaction, hoping he's made the right choice.

Jinhwan's head is pounding with over-stimulation, his body sending him mixed signals. He knows that he  _ wants _ Hanbin to keep going, he wants what he's getting. But his body is struggling, wants to get away from the source of the pain, wants to curl up in a ball and hide himself.

But what he wants most of all is to cum and he thinks he might if Hanbin speaks again, the power of his voice almost hypnotic.

Hanbin rubs the heated flesh beneath his fingers, squirms at how turned on he is, at how much he loves seeing Jinhwan like this, helpless in his lap. Part of Hanbin's brain is screaming at him to stop, that this can't be okay, that Jinhwan must have forgotten to use the safe word, that there's no way that anyone can possibly like this.

But he remembers reading about people who love it, remembers that it  _ is _ okay, that it is possible that Jinhwan is enjoying this.

Jinhwan's nearing a meltdown, the pleasure too much for him, and he grinds himself against Hanbin's leg, chasing after sweet friction. “Hanbin,” he whines, breath hitching in his throat, “Hanbin  _ please _ \--”

Hanbin wonders if Jinhwan is supposed to be chasing after orgasm so openly, wonders if he should take control back? “Stop moving,” he commands, and surprise floods him when Jinhwan actually  _ stops— _ his body goes so still that Hanbin almost doesn't know what he's supposed to do next.

“ Are you crying?” Hanbin asks, because Jinhwan  _ is _ crying, wracking sobs coming out of him now, they started as soon as Hanbin told him to stop moving. “I hope you don't expect me to feel sorry for you,” Hanbin says, “you  _ should _ be crying right now, you should be feeling sorry  _ to me _ for disobeying me so much.”

Jinhwan doesn't answer, just continues to sob, but Hanbin can feel his erection poking him in the leg, can feel how tense Jinhwan is, how much he needs release. Hanbin forgets if he's supposed to make Jinhwan cum himself, can't remember if he even read anything about it? How is this supposed to end? He feels like he's lost control of the whole thing, feels like he should have come into it better prepared.

“ I think a few more and we're done,” Hanbin says, hopes he sounds more confident than he feels. He brings his hand down six more times, three on each cheek, and he makes them as hard and as loud as he can, and the sharp  _ crack _ has him biting back a moan of his own.

To Hanbin's surprise Jinhwan yells and cums on the sixth hit, thrusting his dick against Hanbin's leg, and Hanbin lets him, does nothing more than watch as Jinhwan writhes against him, shameless and desperate, trembling through it until he's done and he collapses on top of Hanbin, boneless and spent.

Hanbin's mouth is wide open in shock. Something about this feels so different, Jinhwan feels different across Hanbin's lap, feels like a different person. Hanbin knows that he needs to check on him, needs to cuddle him up and make sure he's okay, but the urge to take his own cock in hand is so strong right now, it's a struggle for him to do what he needs to do instead of what he wants.

“ Nani?” Hanbin calls to him, reaches out tentatively, soft hand stroking Jinhwan's back. “You okay?”

But Jinhwan doesn't answer, just lays breathless and silent, so Hanbin tries again. “Hey, you there? Come on, talk to me.” Hanbin shifts in the chair and grabs Jinhwan beneath the arms, pulls him up until Hanbin can see his face. Despite being covered in fresh tear tracks, Hanbin is relieved to find Jinhwan smiling, and he slowly blinks up at Hanbin, and the second their eyes fix on each other Jinhwan's smile gets wider.

Hanbin smiles back and is flooded with relief. He's pretty sure everything's gone well, feels confident that he didn't fuck it up. Jinhwan shifts in Hanbin's grasp and Hanbin lets him go so Jinhwan can steady himself. Jinhwan gingerly takes to his feet, hands going behind his back to rub over the sensitive skin and he looks at Hanbin and breaks out into giddy laughter, which takes Hanbin by surprise.

Jinhwan feels amazingly liberated, feels like he's made of nothing more than wispy clouds, barely held together by Hanbin's gaze. “Mmm,” Jinhwan looks down at Hanbin's leg, which is covered with his cum, “sorry about, about the mess,” he can barely talk, the words feel jumbled on his tongue.

Hanbin reaches out for him, fingers soft as they grip Jinhwan's arm and pull him closer. “Come here,” he says tenderly, and Jinhwan almost trips over his own feet as he stumbles back onto Hanbin's lap, a fresh round of giggles bubbling from his lips.

“ How is this punishment supposed to get through to you when you end it in an orgasm?” Hanbin says teasingly, steadying Jinhwan as he situates himself on Hanbin's legs.

Jinhwan isn't sure why but he can't stop giggling, sinking down onto Hanbin's lap again, but he winces when his ass touches Hanbin's leg. He shifts so he's sitting on the back of his thigh instead, meeting Hanbin's amused smile with one of his own. “Sorry,” he says amidst another round of giggles. He's not even sure why he's laughing.

Hanbin crowds Jinhwan into his arms, pulls him tight against his chest. Jinhwan seems exceptionally happy now that they've finished, and it relieves so much of Hanbin's concerns about the spanking. “Did you like it?” He asks, because he wants to hear Jinhwan acknowledge it out loud.

Jinhwan's shy when he answers the question, because this is the first time they've done it, the first time he's ever experienced a spanking, and he's still feeling a little conflicted about liking it so much. “Yeah,” he replies, “it was amazing.”

Hanbin kisses his shoulder and holds him tightly, relieved to hear it.

“ Did you like it?” Jinhwan asks him, because he's pretty sure that Hanbin did, wants to hope he did.

It's Hanbin's turn to be a little shy in his answer, because this  _ is _ very different from anything they've done so far. “Yeah, I did,” he admits, and Jinhwan's uncontrollable giggles get to Hanbin too, and he's laughing now, half from nerves about admitting to it, and half just because it's a way to expend built-up energy.

“ Good,” Jinhwan replies, kissing Hanbin's forehead. “You're really good at it,” he says, and he means it. Not that he has anything to go by for comparison, of course, but Hanbin wore the dominance well.

“ You think so?” Hanbin asks, legitimately curious. “I was so nervous while I was doing it.”

“ You were?” Jinhwan is surprised to hear it. “You didn't seem nervous at all. You never seem nervous, not to me.”

Hanbin feels good about Jinhwan's comment, because he's not supposed to seem nervous when he's doing things to Jinhwan. “That's good to hear.”

“ Well, you're a natural leader, you're good at masking your nerves when you're performing,” Jinhwan goes on to say, “you're always confident when you're in leader mode.”

“ Ah, that's work, though!” Hanbin says. “This is different.”

“ Not really,” Jinhwan says, “you're still my leader, and you're performing for me. It's not that different at all.”

Hanbin blushes at the compliment. “Ah, well, you're a good follower.”

Jinhwan laughs and smacks his arm. “Hanbin!”

Hanbin grins and runs his fingers over Jinhwan's back, teasingly trailing them over the heated cheeks of his ass. Jinhwan squirms and whines, but Hanbin holds him in place, tickles the sensitive skin again.

“ Bin-ah!” Jinhwan whines, and even though it sounds like a complaint it really isn't. His ass is sensitive and sore, but he likes the feel of Hanbin's fingers on it anyway and doesn't want him to stop. He leans against his chest, encircles his arms over Hanbin's shoulders and sticks his ass out a bit.

Hanbin thinks the whole thing is ridiculously intoxicating, Jinhwan whining in complaint while his body seems to beg for Hanbin to keep going. And of course Hanbin is still in need of his own release, still has his own erection to think about. He trails his fingers over the hot skin again, drawing another whiny moan out of Jinhwan's lips.

“ You were so hot, Jinan,” Hanbin says, and Jinhwan smiles at the words, so Hanbin keeps going. “Watching you lie there and take it made my dick so hard.”

“ Is it still hard?” Jinhwan asks, mouth at Hanbin's ear.

“ Why don't you find out for yourself?” Hanbin says, and he wonders if he can fuck Jinhwan. Will it hurt too much?

Jinhwan stands up and leans down to slide his jeans completely off before he straddles Hanbin's open legs, feels the length of Hanbin's hard cock through his sweatpants. He grinds down against it, a pleasant warmth settling in his stomach when he hears Hanbin's needy moan against his throat.

“ Ah, shit, Jinan,” Hanbin groans against his neck, “can I fuck you?”

Jinhwan grins and grinds down harder. “I don't know, I'm kinda sore,” he's only teasing. Even though his skin is still burning, there's nothing he wants more than to feel Hanbin's length buried in his ass.

“ I know, that's why I'm asking.” Hanbin replies seriously, and the answer makes Jinhwan feel loved and  _ safe _ despite what they've just done. Hanbin could ask him for anything right now and Jinhwan would gladly give it.

“ Of course you can fuck me,” Jinhwan answers, kisses Hanbin's neck, “I want to feel you inside me so bad.”

Hanbin bites his lip and moans. He wonders if he'll even last long enough to get it in. “Can you get lube?” He asks, desperate to get this moving.

“ Mmm,” Jinhwan hums, “I don't wanna get up.”

Hanbin laughs incredulously at him. “Come on! I'm not dry fucking you.”

Jinhwan laughs and throws his arms over Hanbin's shoulders. “No, you're definitely not,” he agrees, “but I'm sore, I don't wanna stand up.”

Hanbin realizes what he wants, and he can't help but laugh. “Seriously, Jinan? It's just across the room!” Jinhwan shakes his head and Hanbin groans.

“ I know you can pick me up.” Jinhwan says teasingly.

“ Fine.” Hanbin huffs, wrapping his arms under Jinhwan's ass as he stands up. Jinhwan hisses at the contact but wraps his legs around Hanbin's waist, clutching at him like a koala bear. Hanbin thinks it's cute.

A minute later and Jinhwan's on hands and knees on the bed, explicit moan dropping from his lips while Hanbin's got two fingers in him, flicking his prostate and making him squirm. It's such a turn on, looking at Jinhwan's ass, knowing that the bright red cheeks are Hanbin's own design, and Hanbin doesn't last long at all when he finally buries himself in Jinhwan, his pace fast and hard and Jinhwan whines because it hurts when Hanbin continually pounds into his sensitive skin, but he wouldn't have it any other way, and when Hanbin cums deep in Jinhwan's ass, Jinhwan cums too, spilling over Hanbin's fist.


	6. 6.

They're messing around in the dance studio, practising choreography for one of their new songs. It's a ballad, and it's the only song on the album that Hanbin didn't have a hand in composing. In fact the only thing he even wrote was his own rap verse. Everything else came courtesy of Teddy and Kush, and Jinhwan thinks that has helped Hanbin to take a slightly more hands-off approach to the song.

Hanbin has even passed along the reigns of choreography for the song, letting Donghyuk work with YG choreographer Jae-Wook to create something for the group. Hanbin has been too busy working on the album to slot in choreography around all their travelling, and Donghyuk's work on their Airplane stage impressed Hanbin enough to give him another chance. Jinhwan thinks it's great for Donghyuk. Donghyuk has always been the most sensitive out of them all, has always been the most worried about how useful he is and how well he fits in with their overall picture. Jinhwan's pleased that Hanbin has given Donghyuk the chance to show himself a second time.

But if he's being really honest with himself, it's maybe not so great for Jinhwan on a personal level, because instead of being intense and concentrated the way he is when he's leading dance practice, Hanbin's goofing off with Bobby. Which again is actually good for Hanbin, but Jinhwan can't help but feel jealous.

They're all currently taking a break to rest for a moment, everyone on the floor and sipping water. Jinhwan's got Chanwoo on his left and Junhoe on his right, but his eyes are on Hanbin and Bobby, who are currently cuddled up together on the other side of the room, eyes on Hanbin's phone. They're talking and giggling and Jinhwan thinks they're discussing lyrics, but he's not sure. It's nothing unusual, though, they've always done it when they're working on new stuff. It just stings a bit more now because they've been so busy lately, with all their travelling and performing. He tries to ignore the thought but it creeps into his head anyway—doesn't Hanbin miss him? Why is he cuddling up to Bobby during these breaks in training? Why isn't he cuddling up with his boyfriend instead?

Jinhwan's so focused on these thoughts that he's completely missed Junhoe's question.

“Sorry, what did you just say?” Jinhwan asks, grinning when Junhoe shakes his head in disgust.

“Never mind. Obviously it's not that important to you.” Junhoe shifts a little, turns away from Jinhwan, posture sulking, and Jinhwan grins and chases after him.

“June-ya, tell me!” He slides his arms around Junhoe's chest, hugging him from behind.

Junhoe shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Come on!” Jinhwan whines, hugs him tighter, and chances a glance in Hanbin's direction. He's still paying attention to Bobby, though, and it pushes Jinhwan a bit further. “I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention to you. You know you're my favourite, right? I was just tired and drifting. I wanna listen now!”

Junhoe's posture softens a bit, and all it takes is for Jinhwan to shove his nose in Junhoe's neck before the younger one's laughing and repeating his story. The next time Jinhwan checks for Hanbin's reaction, he's pleased to find his boyfriend's eyes are on him, and he thinks Hanbin might even be a touch jealous?

Good, Jinhwan thinks. Let him get a taste of his own medicine.

Practice goes on for another three hours, and even though the choreography is slower than what they usually do there are a lot of intricate moves that it takes them a while to get. True to his promise, Hanbin lets Donghyuk run the practice, and when Donghyuk yells at their leader when he keeps messing up one part in particular Hanbin just grins and takes it. Everyone's a little surprised, but Jinhwan finally catches Hanbin's eye and all it takes is one little wink for Jinhwan to forget the jealousy that's been slowly brewing today.

Hanbin's attention might belong mostly to Bobby today, but he and Jinhwan still share the secret to Hanbin's calm behaviour, and that's enough to placate Jinhwan.

At least it is for one day.

But when one day bleeds into three days, Jinhwan's the one getting snappy. Hanbin is still goofing around with Bobby, still wrapped up in their phones during every break, and it's enough to make Jinhwan's blood boil. But he's got too much stubborn pride to go and shove himself in between the two of them, so instead he just lets the feelings simmer day by day, tries to focus on practice instead, buries himself in his Japanese textbook whenever he's feeling particularly mopey. Whatever it takes to keep the jealousy at bay.

Hanbin's birthday is a day away, after all, and Jinhwan doesn't want to let these unfounded negative feelings get in the way of celebration. Of course they barely have time to celebrate anyway. The whole day will be spent on prep for their upcoming Japanese fan meets (language practice, dance practice, vocal practice) but Jinhwan has planned a small party when they get back to the dorm. He and Junhoe wanted to plan something bigger, since Hanbin has had to sacrifice his birthdays the past few years, but unfortunately the timing was poor this year too.

But they got Hanbin a cake and some gifts, and now that they're no longer rookies, Jinhwan has also stocked up on a few bottles of wine and Soju. Not that any of them can drink much with their schedule, but it'll be nice to have a glass together.

They surprise him with breakfast in the morning, Yunhyeong cooking up his favourite egg dish. They don't have time for much, though, because they're due at work for Japanese lessons in an hour. But it's still enough time for Bobby and Donghyuk to ambush Hanbin after breakfast, Bobby holding him down while Donghyuk is the first to deliver their annual birthday spankings.

Jinhwan watches in amusement, thinks about a few weeks ago when he got his first spanking from Hanbin. He's glad everyone's focused on Hanbin right now, because he's pretty sure he's blushing madly just thinking about it. He manages to recover before Bobby calls for him to deliver his birthday swats, but Jinhwan politely declines and says he'll give his later in the day. Bobby laughs and decides to do the same, and he finally lets Hanbin go then, who whines pitifully.

They pile in the van to head to work and Jinhwan is a little surprised when Hanbin grabs his arm and asks him to sit beside him in the back. Hanbin sandwiches himself in between Bobby and Jinhwan, and Jinhwan couldn't be happier for it. It's easy to cuddle with Hanbin on days like this, using the excuse of birthdays and excitement over travel.

Japanese class goes well. Jinhwan's always enjoyed studying languages, and currently he's the best with Japanese in the group. They break halfway through class and he follows Hanbin out for a bathroom break, and conveniently none of the others follow them.

Hanbin locks the door behind them before reaching for Jinhwan's cheeks, cupping them in his palms.

“I have a bone to pick with you.” Hanbin says, frowning jokingly.

Jinhwan grins in return and slides his arms around Hanbin's back. They haven't really had a good opportunity to make out in the past week, and even if they had Jinhwan's been too steeped in irritated jealousy to see it. “Bone, or boner?” He replies, and it makes Hanbin laugh.

“How many hours are we now into my birthday? And you haven't given me a birthday kiss yet?” Hanbin whines, lower lip pushed out dramatically.

Jinhwan slides his hands up and over Hanbin's chest, circling his shoulders before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his head down. He presses hungry lips to Hanbin's, tongue darting out to join the chase. Hanbin meets him, aggressively sucking Jinhwan's tongue into his mouth. Jinhwan's last little lingering speck of jealousy leaves him the second he feels Hanbin's hand closing around his dick. They have so much to do today that he doesn't think a bathroom romp is a good idea, but he's felt so starved for affection from Hanbin lately that he's willing to do whatever he wants.

“Jinan,” Hanbin whispers against his ear, “I wish we had time to fuck.”

Jinhwan grins and kisses Hanbin's chin. “You and me both.” He's tempted to shove his hand down Hanbin's pants, but he knows better. He's barely holding onto himself with Hanbin's hand on him. If they actually did anything with each other, neither of them would concentrate on the rest of their class, and their Japan fan meets start in two days. There just isn't time to mess around.

Hanbin whines into Jinhwan's ear, coming to the same conclusion, before he pulls his hand back out of Jinhwan's pants. He kisses him again, and this time they go about it a bit more slowly, savouring the kiss instead of running wild with it. Hanbin pulls out of it first and he leans his face into Jinhwan's hair, arms tight around his back.

“I love you, Nani.” Hanbin whispers, and Jinhwan isn't ready for the words. Hanbin  _ never _ says them first,  _ ever _ , and Jinhwan can't help but tear up just a little. It might be Hanbin's birthday, but Jinhwan feels like he's the one getting the gift.

“Love you too, Bin.” Jinhwan presses a little kiss against Hanbin's chin again, and he wishes they had a longer break, because he'd be more than happy to stand here with Hanbin for hours, just cuddling. But their Japanese instructor is waiting, and they both pull back at the same time.

“Back to class?” Hanbin says morosely, and Jinhwan nods before taking one last kiss and finally opening the door and leaving the bathroom. Jinhwan floats down the hall, though, his already good mood made even better with Hanbin's words and his kisses.

When Japanese class is up they head for lunch together and Jinhwan sits next to Hanbin. It's a touchy affair and everyone feeds Hanbin, though Junhoe dabs sauce on his nose (by accident, he says, but he giggles over it in a way that Jinhwan knows means that he did it on purpose). Everything is perfect, they're happy and laughing and talking excitedly over their Japan trip.

The mood gets ruined when Teddy shows up.

“Hey, birthday boy!” The producer greets, and everyone greets him back with smiles (even Jinhwan, because they all admire Teddy and had a great time working with him on the new song) and Teddy nods to them all before laying a hand on Hanbin's shoulder.

“I have something for you, so when you're done come see me in my studio.” Teddy tells him, and Hanbin's face lights up.

“I'm pretty much done now, I'll come with you!” Hanbin isn't actually finished with his meal, but he's idolized Teddy longer than anyone, so whenever the senior producer comes calling, Hanbin drops everything for him. Jinhwan used to think it was cute (in fact right up until this very second he'd thought it was cute) but now it feels annoying.

“Bobby, you can come too.” Teddy winks at their other rapper, and Jinhwan bites the inside of his cheek to stem the irritation he feels as he watches the two of them leave their trays of half-eaten lunch behind. To his further aggravation, no one else seems bothered by the fact that Teddy has walked off with two of their members, and lunch continues as normal. Jinhwan forces himself to eat the rest of his meal, though looking at Hanbin and Bobby's half-full remains is killing what was left of his appetite.

Has he really become so petty? It's probably about their sub-unit song, now that he thinks about it. Not that he knows anything about the song, because they've been keeping it very hush-hush. Jinhwan had been happy to hear about the sub-unit song at first, knows it's important to the both of them, knows it's something they're both hungry for. He knows Hanbin has a folder full of songs meant for just he and Bobby.

But it feels a little like betrayal to Jinhwan right now. Should they really be doing a sub-unit song on their debut album? Is it right for the rappers to be that greedy? Why can't the vocal line have a sub-unit song too?

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, because he can't let himself think like this. It's toxic. He's just annoyed because he finally felt like he'd had Hanbin's attention back, only for it to be stolen away again, right out from under him. At lunch, no less, when they should have been free to just be together before rushing to their next practice session.

They don't see their rappers until after lunch is done, during choreography practice. They're late for it, though they enter the room with smiles on their faces. Jinhwan bristles when he sees Hanbin's hand tucked around Bobby's arm.

But his irritation doesn't last long. Hanbin's unusually happy during practice, and even when mistakes are made he doesn't yell, doesn't even look bothered. It's hard to stay annoyed when Hanbin's constantly smiling, and his good mood is super contagious. They're making final preparations for the performance portion of their fan meets and they play a round of rock, paper, scissors to determine who will be playing the girl during My Type.

Yunhyeong loses and everyone cheers. Bobby puts an arm around Yunhyeong's shoulder, starts to coo in his ear over what a pretty girl he is, but Yunhyeong shoves him away sulkily. Jinhwan can't resist, joining in on the fun and stroking a finger down Yunhyeong's arm seductively, blowing him a kiss when he turns around. Yunhyeong is fun to play with, his reactions almost always over the top, and even Hanbin can't stop laughing over it. All in all it's a fun practice session, still as productive as it needs to be. They practice until dinner, when Jae-Wook stops by to give their stage show his final blessing.

They head for home just after nine o'clock, everyone a little surprised at the early night. But practice went as perfectly as it possibly could go, so there's no sense in doing it again when they could better spend their last night before heading to Japan getting a good night's rest.

Jinhwan has told Yunhyuk about his plans for Hanbin's little celebration, so their manager leaves a little before the group and heads to their dorm in order to lay out the cake and alcohol, and Jinhwan texts him when their van pulls up outside so Yunhyuk can light the cake's candles and turn out all the lights.

Hanbin has never been one to care much about birthday celebrations. The last two had been bittersweet at best, overshadowed with work, on the verge of tears. But this is the first one since debut, when he has more to be grateful for than just being born. Jinhwan wants to make sure any tears from today are happy ones only.

So when they reach their dorm and let Hanbin enter first he's greeted in the hall by their favourite manager holding a birthday cake. Hanbin blinks back the tears in his eyes because he hates crying, but at the same time he's so grateful for everything.

Jinhwan uses the excuse of the birthday celebration to cling to Hanbin, arms tight around him, face pressed into his chest as the seven of them sing Hanbin a very loud birthday song. He blows out the candles and wipes at his eyes before the lights get turned on, herding everyone into the kitchen for cake and drinks.

None of them save Jinhwan himself can handle alcohol very well, so Yunhyuk limits them to a glass each (and he even allows the three underage members to have a glass, but under strict orders to not tell anyone). Bobby tries to rub cake in Hanbin's face but Hanbin fights back, and eventually both of them end up with frosting smeared on their cheeks.

Maybe it's the wine, but instead of being jealous, Jinhwan thinks it's cute. He can't stop smiling as he watches them, and his heart feels so light because  _ this is how it's supposed to be _ , laughing at Hanbin and Bobby's antics instead of feeling bitter jealousy. When no one is watching Yunhyuk pours Jinhwan a second glass of wine.

Once they finish the cake, Bobby catches Jinhwan's attention and rubs his palms together and Jinhwan hasn't forgotten their earlier plans. Bobby drags Hanbin over to the couch and enlists Chanwoo's help to hold him down (he'd tried to get Yunhyuk to join in, but their manager staunchly refused to be a part of their  _ violent birthday traditions _ , and instead said he had to leave to 'take a call' so he wouldn't be around to witness it).

Maybe it's the second glass of wine that has Jinhwan feeling particularly playful, but he stops Bobby just as he's about to deliver his swats. Bobby can see the devious look on Jinhwan's face and he's not sure what he's about to do, but Bobby will follow along with whatever it is.

Without warning, Jinhwan pulls Hanbin's pants down, his dark blue underwear all that rests in between Hanbin's ass and their hands. Jinhwan and Bobby trade off with their blows, five a piece, while Hanbin howls in displeasure against the couch cushions and the others all laugh. Jinhwan has a suddenly bold idea, though.

“Just because you're an adult this year, Bin-ah, something a little extra special!” He teases before pulling Hanbin's underwear down and exposing his bare cheeks. Everyone pounces, eager to get in a few good swats on Hanbin's bare skin, giggly from the wine and the pack mentality. Chanwoo finally lets Hanbin's arms go and their leader covers himself again before sliding down to the floor, face pressed into the couch, laughing so hard he's crying.

Hanbin isn't bothered by the spanking at all, even though he still whines like a baby for effect. Maybe it's good for them, too, having an unrefined moment to reinforce that Hanbin's not at all someone they fear, that they're more than happy to treat him like one of the group when they're outside of working hours. It's a good reminder for him that he's struck a good balance.

But they did hit kind of hard and it stings and suddenly he thinks about Jinhwan, has a new found appreciation for what he asked for weeks ago. His eyes find Jinhwan's and they're met with a smug look of satisfaction, like Jinhwan knows what he's thinking about and he's enjoying it now while he can.

Later, once everyone has started trickling off to showers and sleep, Hanbin and Jinhwan are out on the balcony, standing close and staring at the night sky. It's a little chilly, so Hanbin is wrapped around Jinhwan, who's a constant furnace. Hanbin is always cold, and Jinhwan is always hot, so it works for the both of them, cuddling up like this.

“How was your birthday this year?” Jinhwan asks him, his hands wrapped around Hanbin's forearms.

“The best one I ever remember having.” Hanbin says, though he muffles the words into Jinhwan's neck.

Jinhwan smiles and feels so very content at the moment, feels like everything's right in the world again. The past couple of days have been weird, but they're over now, he's certain of it. “I can't believe you're officially an adult now.” Jinhwan teases, and he can feel Hanbin grinning into his neck.

“Mm, you're officially dating a man!” Hanbin replies, punctuating the comment by lightly nipping at Jinhwan's neck.

“Be careful!” Jinhwan scolds lightly, though he knows he doesn't really have to. “I don't want to have to explain marks on my neck to our Japanese fans.”

“You don't want your first scandal?” Hanbin teases him.

“That's the last thing I want!” Jinhwan closes his eyes for a moment when he feels Hanbin's tongue licking over the spot he just nipped.

“You know the only thing that was missing from today?” Hanbin asks him, and Jinhwan is curious about his answer. “I wish we had time to fuck.”

Jinhwan isn't surprised. “Ah, Bin, so predictable!”

Hanbin laughs and tightens his arms around Jinhwan's chest. “Not what you think, though,” he carries on, mouth against Jinhwan's neck, “if we had time, I'd actually want you to fuck me. It's been months since you did.”

Jinhwan is a little surprised at the comment, half because he hadn't even really thought about it. Before they started this whole domination thing, he and Hanbin used to trade off who would top and who would bottom. But ever since he's foisted the mantle of domination on Hanbin, he didn't even think about whether or not it was something Hanbin wanted all the time. Jinhwan is suddenly overcome with tender and affectionate feelings for Hanbin, and he twists in his arms until they're facing each other.

“Do you really miss it?” He asks, pleased when Hanbin nods.

“I know we have this thing going on, and I like that, I do. But sometimes, I guess I just don't feel like always being in charge?” Hanbin's been meaning to bring it up recently, because it has been on his mind. He isn't lying—he has really come to enjoy dominating Jinhwan—but sometimes he longs for Jinhwan to take over, longs to lay on his back with Jinhwan over him, fucking him with fingers tight on his skin and curses sneaking past his lips.

Jinhwan leans into him and brings his hands up to Hanbin's neck, stretching up to kiss him. Hanbin's arms tighten around his back and he softens their kiss, packs unsaid feelings into the soft probe of his tongue. Jinhwan wonders if it's normal, to switch every so often when you're in the kind of relationship they've slowly been getting into?

It doesn't really matter, though. If Hanbin needs him to take over sometimes, Jinhwan is happy to do that. As much as he likes submitting to Hanbin, he wouldn't mind reversing their positions every now and then. Maybe Hanbin needs it, needs to know that he  _ can _ still do it, needs to know that he hasn't lost his ability to submit.

Maybe that's why Hanbin's been so clingy with Bobby lately. Maybe he's been craving something that Jinhwan hasn't been giving him. Jinhwan feels surprisingly calm about the situation, happy that he's figured something out that makes sense.

“Okay,” Jinhwan says, “next time we fuck, I'll fuck you.”

Hanbin smiles down at him and kisses his cheek. “Thanks, hyung.”

Jinhwan shakes his head and kisses him back. “You could have said something earlier, you know. We're supposed to be communicating.”

“We are!” Hanbin whines back. “Are you sure there isn't anything you need to tell me that you've been keeping to yourself lately?”

He says it like a joke, but Jinhwan forces himself to maintain the grin he's sporting, because he's wondering if he shouldn't admit his jealousy to Hanbin? He decides not to, though, but promises himself that he will talk about it if it comes up again.

“I don't keep secrets, Bin-ah!” Jinhwan replies, and Hanbin just laughs at him. They stay out a bit longer, cuddling in the cool night air, stealing kisses back and forth before finally succumbing to the pull of their beds.


End file.
